Fiction

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Their arguing echoed in my room. Numbly, routinely, I slipped the headphones always close at hands over my ears, turned the volume to blasting, let it drown out my feelings.

When will they realize their fighting is what's ruining my life?

My eyes drifted to the small tube on the scratched cherry wood of my bedside table. I crawled over the scratchy bed sheets stretched across my mattress and took the cylinder in my hand. I popped the bottle open, pouring a white pill into my hand and downing it with the water, always handy. Then, as a new song pounded in my ears, I swallowed another. And another.

My therapist gave me the sleeping pills after I told him how the fighting kept me up at night. "One every night, just before you go to bed." He explained, handing me the delicate blue sheet of paper used to write prescriptions on.

I swallowed another pill. I tipped the bottle onto my hand to realize it was now empty. And I'd just had it refilled the other day.

My vision blurred. My eyes took in framed photographs from years ago, back before my parents began fighting, before my cheeks were constantly streaked with tears, my eyes always red. Before all this began. I tried to stand up, wanting so badly to go tell my parents I was sorry. I was sure it was my fault after all.

It always is.

I felt weak, my body shook. I collapsed to the floor, the headphones clipped off and the CD player attached crashed to the ground as my world turned black.

(You're gonna miss me, miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me, miss me when I'm gone)



I was walking through a long, dark tunnel with no end. I breathed in and out quickly, scared. I'd always been afraid of the dark. I reached what I thought might be the end, but it was just a turn. I fell to my knees, praying to God for forgiveness, that I'd try harder. That's when my parent's crying faces flashed before my eyes, causing me to sob harder. And a bolt of lightening flashed down from no where and struck me in the chest, shocking my entire body. I saw a bright light where I now knew the end of the tunnel was as my vision faded.


My eyelids fluttered open. A blonde doctor stood over me with those weird shocker thingies in his hands.

"We almost lost you." He explained. "We pumped your stomach and then you started shaking." He set the reviving tools down. "You're going to live…you just need to stay in the hospital for a few days, okay?"

I nodded, looking into the man's deep blue-green eyes. I crooked smile appeared on his lips. "Need anything? Water?"

"No, I'm good." I muttered in a dry voice. The doctor stood up and began to walk towards the shining glass door. I felt a pulling urge to write about the tunnel, with its sparkles in the wall and the rushing sound that reminded me of a river. "Wait…can I have paper and a pen?"

The guy smiled the same, crooked smile. "Of course."

He left and returned with a dark green pen and a yellow legal pad.

"Thanks." I murmured as I began to pour all my thoughts and feeling, all my energy, into a story.

(You're gonna miss me, miss me when I'm gone
You're gonna miss me, miss me when I'm gone)

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