Humor

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“What do you think about this?” Over a cup of hot joe, I was jawing about animated movie script ideas with my fellow writer friend, Ross.

“You got a mice couple, call ‘em Ikedrom and Molly, never had any kids. Live in the walls of an old abandoned apartment building. Old man, he’s happy, the way things are. But the wife, she’s freaking out because she wants a kid so bad. Nags Ikedrom all the time.

One day they find a pink blankie on their doorstep. Turns out, there’s a newborn kitten inside. Molly wants to keep it, Ikedrom thinks Molly’s gone nuts. They argue. Molly digs in, takes matters into her own paws. She drags the blankie inside - names the kitty Rehtse, feeds it from an old glove of Ike’s.

Before long Molly realizes Rehtse is getting too big for her blankie and their apartment. She needs Ike to help her figure out a way to move Rehtse someplace roomier, but near enough so she can still look after her 'baby'. So she makes up with Ike. Idea is maybe he will be willing to look for a closet or an attic or something in the building and create an opening from there into their apartment.

Ikedrom unthaws and agrees to venture into the wide world of their building to see what he can see. Early one morning at dawn’s crack, he sets out.

“Wait a minute,” Ross interrupts - rather rudely, I’m thinking. “Plot sounds kind of fantastical to me. Nobody’s gonna’ buy it. You know, suspension of disbelief and all that!”

“Patience, friend,” I counter him, “there’s a thread. Besides, you the myth-king of all time, are telling me my story’s too fantastical?”

“Well, all right,” my friend relents, but with a martyred look on his face. But try to get on with it, will you? Just give me a rough outline.”

Okay, I’ll try but I’m not sure I can do justice by just hitting the high points.” I taste my coffee and frown deeply. Ross has been talking so much, it’s gotten cold.

“Anyhow, so Ikedrom crawls out a crack in the wall, climbs a vine, and re-enters through an air-duct. Once inside he starts to look around and sure enough finds the perfect hidey-hole for Rehtse. But before he can make it back to tell Molly, he overhears two renegade cat denizens, Namah and Manah, plotting against the big hama-hama cat of the neighborhood, Sure-Usa-Dak-Uben.

So happens big guy is champion to the mice folk and has just made a decree in their favor. The two traitors don’t like it so they’re gonna’ do him in.”

“Nope, nope, story line’s never gonna’ work!” Its Ross again, rearing back on his arrogance.

“What do you mean it won’t work? I think it’s great!”

“Audience won’t sit still for it. Way to over the top! But do go on!”

“Thanks buddy, I think I will!” I clear my throat.

“As soon as the coast is clear old Ike rushes back home to tell Molly what he overheard. Ikedrom arranges a secret meeting with Sure-Usa and the plot is foiled. Sure-Usa takes it all down on a sticky-note, but forgets.

Months go by and Rehtse grows into a little beauty. She loves her adoptive mice parents but senses it’s time to move on. Once in the hood, she becomes queen of the hop. Sure-Usa notices Rehtse, Rehtse notices Sure-Usa. They become inseparable and begin wedding plans. But Rehtse doesn’t tell Sure-Usa about her mice relations.

Before you know it a new dastardly plot arises in the enemy camp. Namah and Manah, who have been in hiding, are spreading it that mice cause golden tumors on cats. All mice are declared enemies of the state and are to be exterminated. Without realizing what he’s doing, Sure-Usa signs the bill.”

“Oh my goodness!” Ross is shaking his head, determined not to let me get a word in edgewise.

“Please!” I hold up a hand. “I’m almost done.”

“Ikedrom goes looking for Rehtse - finds her basking at ease. Tells her about dastardly plot, enlists her aid. Rhetse agrees but demands backup: all mice have to give up cheese for Lent. Mice of the hood agree.

Meanwhile, Sure-Usa can’t sleep one night, finds wadded-up note under him is reason. Reads note that Ikedrom saved his life one time. Gives Ike a new suit of clothes.

Rehtse hatches plan. Invites Sure-Usa, Namah and Manah (now emerged but in disguise and under false names) to a party. Rehtse confesses her humble beginnings to Sure-Usa and rats on Namah and Manah. She begs a mice reprieve for her adoptive kinfolk. When Sure-Usa catches Namah and Manah trying to claw Rehtse, that tears it. He banishes them to Pied Piper land. Rehtse, Sure-Usa, Ikedrom and Molly all take a cruise together. On Namah and Manah’s money.”

“Now see, that didn’t take so long!”

“Well, it might be okay,” this was quite a concession for such as Ross. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it did.

“But I have just one question… (here it came) why a weird name like Molly?”

“I don’t know,” I said, after thinking about it for a minute or two. I scratched my head, “That’s just her name, I guess!”

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