Family

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This year, I had the best birthday ever at a birthday-the big 3-0-I had once dreaded. What made it so special? Well, a few things. My wife, daughter, and I went away for a couple of days this past weekend. We didn't go far, but to Saddle Brook, NJ, a vacation without having to travel far. All of us needed a couple of days away for healing after a very stressful period in our lives. During that time, we had a chance to meet up with some friends of ours, which proved an enormous blessing to us. That blessing continued through yesterday.

Due to a particularly nice perk of my job, I had my birthday off, a paid holiday. So, well, I used the time to take advantage of a gift my wife, Laura, got for me: a pedicure at Nordstrom Spa. I had never gotten a pedicure before (or anything at a spa before), but the experience proved very relaxing and refreshing. Even more refreshing, though, is that Laura, my daughter, Amanda, and I went to the mall (where Nordstrom is located) with Laura's parents. Over the past year, I've clashed with Laura's parents a bit for a number of reasons. Recently, I decided to mend the fences and work towards strengthening that relationship, so I invited them to come along with us to the mall. I did so in part so they could see how much Amanda enjoys the mall and particularly the train and carousel rides there. Both of them LOVE Amanda very much, and I thought it would be fun for them to go on these rides with her. They take care of her while Laura works, but don't get to go out with her much. Things worked well and they got to ride the train with her, each of them in turn. Both of them seemed to enjoy the experience very much. We also went to lunch together and the experience truly proved to be fun, one I won't soon forget.

Later, Laura and I got an hour or so to ourselves while Laura's parents watched Amanda. After that, the three of us went to dinner with my parents and then to the exotic pet store. Amanda surprisingly didn't like the puppies there much, but she loved the bluejays. I don't think I've smiled as much as I did that day in quite some time. Even more delightful to Laura and I, Amanda seemed happier than ever as we drove home. For a 1 year old, what could be better than to spend the day with your parents and grandparents? She was extremely happy, but also very sleepy; Amanda fell to sleep on the way home from the pet store.

Now, as much as we love Amanda, we also (well, me particularly) jumped for joy that she fell asleep so early. My wife and I would have time to spend together, a very precious and rare commodity in the world of parenting. Both of us were just settling down, though, when Amanda cried out in her sleep. Ah, we thought, she'll go back to sleep on her own. But the cries kept coming, so we rushed in and took her to our bed, hoping that she'd go back to sleep there. It didn't happen. God, I thought, why did you spoil the perfect ending to my day! I even got to carry Amanda in asleep! Now, that precious time with Laura seemed to have disappeared.

Well, we took Amanda out for a drive, during which I realized that her waking up did provide the perfect ending to the day. You see, things went so perfectly yesterday up until the point when she woke up it was very easy for me to behave nearly perfectly. When things didn't go quite the way I wanted, though, that's when I started getting cranky. If things go perfectly, where's the need for grace? It's precisely when things don't go the way we want that we need grace, and grace abundantly. That's also the time that our faith is tested. I think I particularly have a problem when I don't get what I want. Laura didn't seem disturbed that Amanda woke up, but I became quite irritable. I can be like a child sometimes, throwing tantrums and pouting when I don't get what I want. Oh, Lord, help me to not require that my will be done, but rather accept your perfect will.

To finish the story, Amanda did fall asleep on the drive and Laura and I did get to spend time together. What I wanted did happen eventually, just not the way I had originally desired. The way God brought it about proved more wonderful, though, for the delay and for the lesson He provided along the way.

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