Fiction

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Letters from The Lost

Introduction

Did you ever wonder what “The Lost” might think about the Christian church in America? Did you ever wonder what they might say to a Pastor of one of those churches?

One day I started to think of the church perhaps in the way that someone on the outside would think of the church. Eventually, I wrote these thoughts down as a collection of fictional letters from “The Lost”. But who are “The Lost”? For the most part, “The Lost” were those who don’t attend a church at least not regularly. Occasionally though, there were some “Lost” within the church. What they have in common is the feeling of being disconnected from the church.

And perhaps in wondering what those outside the church truly feel about those inside the church, we can learn how to fulfill our mission – to reach the lost, tell them about the most wonderful gift given to mankind, and reconnect them to Christ.

Dear Pastor,

Hey man, isn’t like Jesus all about love, like pure-love!

So, if you guys are so into Jesus, you should be into love too, right? You know what I think. I think you should come out of all those stuffy church buildings and just give the world a hug. How cool would that be?

What a way to express some love – get a hug from the Jesus dudes. Maybe you all can make a special day or something like that. You know, maybe a “Hug the Jesus Dude Day”!

Man, I bet if you all just came out and gave the everyone in the world a hug even those you don’t really like that much, then maybe we would want to understand you guys a little more. Cause, I really just don’t get you dudes. You don’t seem to love anyone at all.

Anyways man, I gotta go. Think about this “Hug Day” idea, and if anything like comes out of it, let me know. Maybe I could make a few extra bucks selling some “Hug the Jesus Dude” t-shirt or bumper stickers. And of course, I will be right there waiting for my hug.

Peace, Jesus Dude!

Signed,
Lost and waiting for a hug


Dear Pastor,

I wanted to write you a quick note about your Easter service last Sunday. I didn’t actually attend, but my neighbor across the street did.

She said the whole experience was just so wonderful. There were smiling faces everywhere. And at least four regulars came up to her and her family and said “Good Morning!” When she couldn’t find the place for her children, not one but two people came to her rescue. And they made her kids feel like the most important things in the room. After making her way to a seat, everyone around her was just so friendly.

But not only was she impressed with the welcome, but she was equally impressed with the service. It started with catchy, upbeat songs that everyone sang out loudly. Then, there was a short play. It brought tears to her eyes. Why she even said your sermon wasn’t the one bit boring. When church was all over and she had collected up her kids, everyone smiled and waved goodbye like she was an old friend. Just an overall great experience she said.

I must admit I was quite surprised when she told me of her adventure. I visited your church a couple of months back. I thought church may help with my kids. However, I had quite a different experience. When I came into the church, no one hardly talked to me at all. I had to ask 3 or 4 different persons just to find out where the kids were supposed to go. I mean no offense at all, but the music was just not that good. Your sermon was OK and all, but didn’t seem to have the same effect compared to my friend. The whole experience just seemed miserable, and well so did the regulars of the church. Like a stranger slipping out, I slipped out of the church without anyone noticing at all.

I asked my friend if she was going back. She said she only goes twice a year at Easter and Christmas. It was the only time church was any good.

I remember you mentioning that Jesus was alive that day I was at your church. Are you sure? I think he may only be alive twice a year at your church, at Easter and at Christmas.

Sincerely,
Saved twice a year, lost the rest

Dear Pastor,

I was just driving home, and I wanted to share this story with you. While I was driving past your church, I suddenly realized I needed the left hand lane. So, I looked quickly and swerved over. It appears I looked a bit too quickly, and halfway there I realized I didn’t see the car next to me. Of course, I quickly swerved back and avoided a horrible accident.

I waved to the car, you know to try to say I’m sorry. Well that car pulled right up next to me. The man driving appeared pretty mad, well really mad. His was a bright shade of red. I’m not sure what he yelled at me cause I don’t read lips all that well. It didn’t look very nice. And I know what those “hand signals” meant, and it wasn’t a right turn signal.

As he sped away, I saw the “fish” and “Jesus Loves You” license plate. Somehow, I wasn’t all that surprised. After all, it wasn’t the first time I’ve seen this violent driving behavior from a “fish” car. So, why this particular person may or may not attend your church, I’m sure there’s a few who just might benefit from the list below:

Top 10 Reasons You Should Consider Before Gesturing to the Car that Just Cut You Off

10. The driver didn’t see you. And since he’s blind, he won’t see your hand gesture either.

9. Remember, you just cut someone else off 5 miles back.

8. It could be Jesus!!

7. You missed the sick child in the backseat being rushed to the doctor’s office.

6. Teenage driver – give them a break, they are just learning to drive.

5. Bad driver – given them a beak, they will never learn to drive.

4. The driver just found out that his mother died suddenly.

3. The drivers was having trouble see through the tears in her eyes. She and her husband just had a huge fight.

2. They’re rushing to the scene of a fatal car accident. Their best friend was in one of the cars involved!

1. They are sorry – can you just forgive them.

So, maybe the next time a member of your congregation is cut off, maybe they will consider that we aren’t just rude. We are just trying to get by just like them.

Sincerely,
Lost on the Road


Dear Pastor,

My daughter was so excited when her little friend told her about your “Fall Festival” on Halloween. To tell you the truth, so was I; a safe place for her to Trick-or-Treat.

That evening, she got all dressed up in her costume and off we went. She was so excited!!

When we pulled up to your church, I was so happy to see such a large crowd of kids. I thought what a really great thing that you were doing. We parked and filed in line with the other kids. I should have guessed there might be a problem when I noticed some of the odd looks the adults were giving us.

When we arrived at the front of the line, your church members said she couldn’t wear the costume she was so proud of. You see, she was a witch. On their behalf, the church members tried to offer suggestions, but my daughter was just set on that costume. I asked if your church would make an exception this year seeing that it was our first time and all, and next year we would find a different costume. They said they just couldn’t do that. So while I negotiated with your church members, my daughter watched the other kids walk in. She watched them play games. She watched them fill their candy bags. And finally, tears filled her eyes.

With tears now streaming down her face, we made a hasty retreat to our car. She couldn’t understand why she wasn’t allowed in, and frankly I can’t either. Her costume wasn’t gruesome at all. Actually it was quite cute and stylish. Aren’t their any witches in the Bible?

My daughter and I ended up in a friend’s neighborhood. After Trick-or-Treating, her candy bag was overflowing. I guess Christians aren’t the only ones who can be generous during a holiday. My friends said they didn’t understand all the fuss either. None of us go to church, and I guess we won’t be next Halloween even if my daughter doesn’t want to be a witch.

Sincerely,
The Lost Witch


Dear Pastor,

Hey, I had just a quick question about the different kinds of religion; you know Baptist, Methodists, Lutheran, Catholic, and all that.

You see, I decided I would like to attend church. So, I went to the yellow pages to find one close by. I figured there would be a section for Jewish churches, Muslim churches, Hindu churches, and Christian churches. Boy was I surprised. All these different kinds of churches were listed. There were four types of Baptist churches. Well, I could have just picked the closest, but I would like to choose the best for me and my lifestyle.

Well, I knew Christians used the Bible. So, I borrowed one from my neighbor. I told him I had to look up a trivia question to avoid any embarrassment. I looked all over that Bible the best I could, but I could not find one of those religions in the phone book mentioned. The only religion I found was the Jews. And then there were a bunch of churches in these ancient cities, and a church of Jesus. I didn’t see any of these churches in the phonebook or even on the internet. Oh, and there was a baptism and a John the Baptist who must have started the Baptist religion but no Baptist church.

Maybe I was looking in the wrong place in the Bible. Could you tell me where to look? It is an awfully big book, and I could have easily missed it. Or if you use another book in addition to the Bible, could you send me the title? Or if you know of this church mentioned in the Bible that followed Jesus, could you give me their phone number? But I assumed they no longer existed or at least weren’t very popular since they weren’t in the phone book.

Thanks so much in advance for all your help.

Sincerely,
Lost in a sea of religions


Dear Pastor,

I attended your Sunday service last week. What a show!!! For a second there, I thought I was on Broadway!

When those musicians came out and just started rockin that place, I was stunned – amazed. The vocalists up there are unbelievable. That’s some real talent you got playin for you.

And just as I am getting all settled in for the concert, you totally switch gears and put on a play. Man, where did you get the material for that play. The actors were so convincing. I’m not ashamed to tell you, I was bawling at the end. I wasn’t the only one either.

Then all of a sudden, your musicians are rockin the house again. And this time, the audience was all fired up. We were singin and clappin and dancing in the aisles. Then the band slows it down into an 80’s rock ballad. Oh, it was so beautiful. I was ready to pull out my trusty concert lighter and sway with the music. But I noticed everyone with their hands lifted up, so I followed their lead.

And just as I thought we were done, you came on out, the main act. You got a real talent. If you ever wanted to give up the church thing, you could definitely make it selling on the TV, you know infomercials. I did learn a few things about life from your speech. The slow music at the end – good touch! I tell you, my emotions were about to explode.

Good idea on taking donations especially then. I bet you got more money than just charging a set fee for each show. And telling people the first time is free, very sly.

All in all, you get a big two thumbs up, a five star show. I can’t come every week, but I will be back. I will remember my donation, wink-wink. Hey I noticed you have child care. Does that cost extra? I’d like my sister and her family to come one week. They go to a quiet church, and I do mean quiet church on the other side of town.

Once again, thanks for the show. Hey how much is the Café Mocha? I need to make sure I got enough dough the next time I come.

Have a great day!
Lost in the show


Dear Pastor,

I was very disappointed to hear the other day that you are attempting to return prayer to school once again. Why, do Christians insist we pray in school in the US? After all, I don’t hear other religions, like Jews or Muslims, clamoring for school prayer.

So tell me, is your god so demanding that he requires your children to pray in school? Would he not be just as satisfied if your children prayed every day before school? Why your family could pray together. I sit in the car rider line to drop my children off, and not once have ever seen a family praying in the car.

I mentioned this idea to a friend who goes to church. And he said they were too busy to pray before school, and that’s why praying during school made so much sense. That makes send to WHO? Your teachers are very busy educating your children. Why should the take time out of their class schedule to do something you can’t find time to do before school?

Now, here’s my other pet peeve about this demand. You expect the school and its teachers to teach your kids to pray and now also about the theory of creation. I would guess that they are extremely important topics that you would desire our teachers to teach these kids. But then again, these same teachers aren’t qualified to teach your children about sex. That makes no sense at all.

I will tell you this pastor. When I see Christians proudly displaying prayer, when I see them praying in groups at restaurants, and in airports, in school parking lots, or downtown or any public place; when I hear my Christian friends describe how they pray with their families, only then will I support this idea.

But until then, why don’t you keep your prayer right where it is – locked at church.

Sincerely,
Lost in anger at school prayer


Dear Pastor,

Recently I was having dinner with some old friends of mine. Eventually the conversation drifted to church. My friends, who attend your church, told me that their God is all about love.

But when I read the news, I don’t see much love especially from Christians. Constantly I hear Christians condemning same-sex marriage and abortion and those who practice it. You complain about teaching evolution in school and the lack of prayer. And how Christians whine when anyone suggests removing some reference to God in a pledge or on some coin.

Does this sound like the voice of love to you? It actually reminds me of my first wife. This is the voice of judgment.

You might have guessed, I don’t go to church. Tell me, do you store up all that love in your building? Do you only share all that love among yourselves? Cause from my point of view, we don’t see any love at all. Guess that’s why I won’t be visiting any time soon.

Sincerely,
Lost in condemnation


Dear Pastor,

Thank you for your recent letter. I was pleased to hear that many people were helped through our recent mission project. And I do appreciate you taking the time to write a note of thanks for the time I gave to the project.

But honestly, I think you may have been confused. Shouldn’t I be thanking you for arranging this opportunity to help others? Wasn’t I really the one who was blessed the most that day? Let me assure you, I was the most blessed that day.

So while I appreciate your letter, next time save the paper and the stamp, and use that time to arrange another opportunity for me to be blessed by an awesome God simply by helping others in need.

Many Blessings,
Lost waiting for service



Dear Pastor,

Thanks for your recent recommendation for a small group. You know I was very excited about the opportunity to meet with a small group and learn more about the Bible. I am fairly new to this Christian stuff, and I never had any religion when I was growing up.

And while all the people in the group seem so very nice, I’m not sure that I fit in with the group.

You see, all of the other members of the small group have their lives so together. Whenever we read the Bible, they already know the story, and they always have the perfect answer. It just flows effortlessly out of their mouth. Me, I’m just trying to figure out who David is and is he the same person as King David. Is it? It’s just so embarrassing never having any of the right answers.

Now when we pray, these people pray so beautifully and exquisitely. Definitely much more worthy of a Holy God than me. Me, I stumble over my words just like I did when I was talking to my father as a kid. And what do they request, important things like healing, and emotional healing, and blessing for the less fortunate. What do I request, well nothing especially in front of them. If I did pray, it would be something like this, please forgive me for the zillion times I messed up today, for yelling and getting angry, and those – well – impure thoughts, and can you help me fix my finances, and how to do my job without going crazy or neglecting my kids, and please help me find the pair of shoes I lost last week. And really could you send an angel down from Heaven to hold me late at night and tell me everything will be OK?

Like I said, I just don’t fit in. Maybe you put me in the advanced class. I must admit, I’m just not ready for that. Do you have a group maybe modeled after those books – Christianity for Dummies. Oh but please don’t call it that. Please fell free to contact me anytime.

Sincerely,
Lost in Small Group 101


Dear Pastor,

How have you been? How are your wife and kids? And the congregation? I know it has been a while, but I just had to share this with you.

I’ve been worried about our church growth for some time now as I know you have been as well.

So, I have started visiting growing churches in my area of at least visiting their websites. I hoped I could learn the secrets of their success. Here’s what I noticed.

Enthusiastic greeters are most necessary. Visitors want to feel welcome, even loved. Greeters set the whole tone for the whole hour.

And a quick word about your message. Keep it to 3 points only and 24 minutes exactly. Throw in lots of punch and a few good jokes and maybe even one or two bad jokes.

But most importantly, start with an 8 song worship time. Eight songs seem to be the magical key, and you should definitely switch to the praise music you find on popular radio stations.

Now, I know this may not seem, well Bible based, but this is the format that all growing churches are using. This will draw the people into the building and keep them coming. Then ultimately, we will see a few salvations and a number of new members, mostly moving from a church that hasn’t found the new formula quite yet.

Brother, I guarantee this to be a successful program for membership growth.

Sincerely,
One lost pastor to another



Dear Pastor,

Recently I visited your church. I grew up in the church. And I recently moved to the area. Your church came highly recommended from several members of the community. But let me tell you about one of those things that happened the first time I came to visit.

“It’s too loud!” I heard a child’s voice call. I turned to the left to find that a mom and her three young kids had moved into that row ahead of me just to the left. There were two girls probably 8-10 years of age. One was blonde, and one had curly black hair. They sat there quietly listening to the music. Her other child was a young boy probably only 3 years old. He had light curly hair. They were all just adorable.

My first thought – she’s has her hands full. Why didn’t she take the kids to the children’s program? I am sure it is just a great program. I didn’t know for sure since I was a first time visitor to this church. She looked like one too, but she looked like she might have been a first time visitor to any church.

But my attention quickly focused back on the music. The music was fabulous. I just enjoyed worship freely and sang from my heart.

Then you took the podium Pastor.

And while I listened to your message, I noticed the mom and her three kids. The older girls sat there quietly, but the little boy didn’t seem to be as near as patient. And, I remember those days when my kids were that young. And I remember the complaints about being bored. I remembered the constant fidgets. And who can forget those whines. That’s why I really loved the children’s program when my kids were young. And I returned my attention to your message.

And only a few minutes later, my attention was drawn back to the mom and her kids. The girls were still so quiet. But the boy just couldn’t keep still. He was in his mom’s lap, and out of his mom’s lap, and pushing the chair in front with his feet. He couldn’t keep still. And he didn’t seem so happy about this church at all. I could see the frustration growing in the mom’s face. I had been in similar circumstances. I knew how she felt. And my heart just went out to her. She wanted to listen to that message, but the little boy just wasn’t going to let her. I wish I could do something. I wanted to tell her that there was a great kids program. I am sure the kids would have a great time there. But I didn’t want to offend her. After all, maybe she was nervous about leaving her kids with strangers, or she tried and they couldn’t take them into the kids program today for some weird reason. Remember it was my first time too. She had been late, maybe she felt there was no time to check them in. Well, this far through the message, she certainly couldn’t check them in now without missing the whole thing. I wondered why the regulars hadn’t helped her out. Maybe they missed her coming in. She was late after all. All these thoughts flashed in just a moment’s time, and my attention was redirected to you.

But not too soon after, I was right back again looking at that mom and her kids. That little boy was just squirming now. And mom was just getting more and more frustrated, but I could tell, she really wanted to listen. Oh how I just wanted to do something. I had a pen and some paper. How many times did I play tic tac toe with my kids or watched them draw? Maybe it would help. No, I didn’t want to disturb her. I didn’t want to interfere. Back to the sermon.

And then back to the kids. My heart just cried for that mom and that little boy. She just wanted to listen so much, and he just wanted to go home. It didn’t look like she would last much longer. Maybe I could buy her some time. So, I got my pen out and attached it to a piece a paper. I crossed in front of the person immediately to my left and handed the pen and paper to the mom. At first she was confused. But then I quietly motioned to the boy. She understood. She said thank you and looked very grateful. And the boy found something to do. Happy ending! I hope the man I crossed in front of wasn’t upset. Back to the sermon, for me and the mom.

But that didn’t last long at all. The poor boy couldn’t stay still. And the mom was finally defeated. She returned the pen to me and said thank you once again. And while you spoke, she gathered her children, headed out the row, and made her hasty retreat. On her way out, she spoke to a women sitting beside her girls, who was probably the friend that invited her. And out she and her kids went.

And I couldn’t help wonder. I wondered why none of the regulars had helped her out. Or had they tried, but she said no. Were the people around her upset with the disturbance? What was her story? Why was she here? Where was her husband? Was she all alone with three kids to raise? What was she looking for today? Was she saved, or was she lost? Why didn’t I do more? I don’t know what I could have done, but shouldn’t I have done something? I could listen to a sermon anytime, could she? Would she be back? Or was this our one chance to impact this mother’s life and we failed? I should have done more.

Your sermon was great. It truly did inspire to keep dreaming BIG. But, today was a failure too.

Sincerely,
Lost First Time Visitor
Dear Pastor,

I hope all is going well with you and your family. This is such a busy time of the year for families and the church. So, I hate to bother you with such a minor problem, but I really could use your advice.

Last week, I asked Mr. Gentry if he would serve in the children’s ministry. He was highly recommended by several people. There were simply amazed at how well he interacts with kids. They said that when he is with kids, everybody has the best time, not just his kids. I really believe he must be gifted in this area.

When I approached him though, he said he had to decline. Actually, he said he would really like to do that, but maybe later in his life. I pressed him a little as to why. He said he had so many things keeping him busy these days, you know family, job, house. He said, “I’m sure I’ll have more time later when my kids are older, so I can be able to give my very best to the kids at church.”

Now, I’m sure you heard this a thousand times before. How do you respond?

How do you explain that God would like him now? There will always be other responsibilities, but doesn’t he have a responsibility to God? It’s like there are little demons surrounding us always creating distractions to keep us busy. But our awesome God, who created us, provides for us, and mostly loves us simply wants 1-2 hours a week to go and play and love some kids. That doesn’t sound like such a bad deal to me.

So pastor, have you ever found a way to nicely say, “Stop waiting for the perfect time to come because that time will never come!” Maybe that’s it. We should stop being so nice trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings so they will stay at church. And we should just be plainly honest though in a kind way.

I know the kids are not the only ones missing a blessing – he is too!!

I welcome your advice.

Sincerely,
Lost waiting for the perfect time to serve


Dear Pastor,

Last night while watching the news, I heard how you Christians were condemning us sinners again. Why, I even heard one Christian blame the recent rash of natural disasters on us immoral people here in America.

Personally, I think you Christians are full of yourself.

First, I want to point out that I don’t believe in your God. So, why should I follow his rules – your rules? Those rules don’t apply to my life. I’ve made no pledge to your God. Why don’t you keep your noses out of my business and worry about yourselves.

That brings me to my second point. Apparently, you don’t believe in your god’s rules either. My Christian friends are no different than the rest of us. They lie, they cheat, they divorce, they want money and the easy life. I can just imagine them telling their dirty jokes right there in your church. Betcha didn’t know that about your moral people in that church of yours.

I just don’t understand you Christians. You complain and whine that everyone doesn’t follow your rules, but they’re not even everyone’s rules, just yours. Then you go and break all the rules yourself anyways.

You believe that man was made in the image of God. Do you project that image? If so, he sounds like a god who condemns his own people, then makes himself the exception to every rule. Maybe you need a new god, one whose rules match your lifestyle.

Signed,
Have you lost your god or has he lost you


Dear Pastor,

I was pondering religion in the United States the other day. Of course, this led me to think about Christianity in the US as well. Now, I am not a Christian myself, but I do believe I may know just a few things about religion and Christianity.

Christians, of course, believe in Jesus Christ, that He was the Son of God, He died for the sins of the world, and he was resurrected on the third day after his death. You celebrate that day as Easter. And if you simply believe this sequence of events, admit the sin in your own life, and ask for forgiveness, you too will enjoy life after death in Heaven. Otherwise, well you know the alternative to Heaven.

Now putting aside the question of validity, let us assume for the moment, this is the truth. Well, also let us assume that all Christians believe these simple beliefs of course.

It seems to me then that Christians have found the cure for the one certainty of life – that is death. I have often heard one of my Christian friends call this a gift from God. What a gift!

But then, here is my confusion. Why do Christians then horde this gift? After all, if a researcher finds a cure, he’s on the news, he’s publishing articles, he’s doing everything he can to get that cure out to the sick. From Christians who have found the cure to death, all I hear is the occasional invite to church. Tell me, does the scientist require you to come to his laboratory or does he send the cure out. Christians hide in their numerous church buildings waiting, waiting for the sick to come to them. Having never been to a church myself, is that when you share your gift? Only those who come to you can receive the greatest gift of life?

I mean, honestly, why aren’t Christians shouting and doing everything possible to get this gift – this cure – out to the sick, the non-Christians. I have heard the ¼ of the US population are Christians. Each Christian would only need to reach 3 people to reach the entire US population.

Instead Christian folks seem awfully busy trying to live the life of the non-Christians as much as possible. But then, just every once in a while, you flaunt that gift, maybe to show you how special you are. You have a gift we don’t. Christians actually seem more like a spoiled child to me. And who wants to play with the spoiled child. But wouldn’t it be better to share this gift – to spread this cure. Why wouldn’t you benefit by gaining members and resources.

No, it appears to me then, this simple gift cannot be true. No, people who have found the cure to death, who truly found the cure to death, simply wouldn’t horde it the way you do. Rather these beliefs appears to be more of an oath to join your social club. Hey it’s a great club, but not a life saving – no soul saving business.

Sincerely yours,
Lost without a cure


Dear Pastor,

You may not know me in the congregation, but I worked for the government for a long time. After a while in the government employ, something struck me. Government agencies work in a budget driven environment. Their primary goal is to maintain their budget, so they may serve the people.

I bet if you asked a government agency, they would indeed say they serve the people. And to justify their actions, they would point out that they have to have money to support programs to serve the people. The agency then must satisfy not the people but those who provide the money. I honestly believe most government agency workers would agree with this view.

But just imagine if government agencies stopped worrying about protecting and increasing their budget. Then they used whatever funds they had to serve the people in the best possible way. I believe that the service to the people would be noticed and rewarded much more than the current system.

Now what about the church? Many churches look to keep its members happy. Those happy members will stay at the church and provide the tithe/budget to be used to reach the lost. Similar to the government, the church’s goal is to maintain its membership and its tithe so the lost can be reached. But shouldn’t the church focus on simply serving and reaching the lost with whatever resources were available.

And doesn’t the church believe that by pursuing and serving the lost completely and passionately, God will provide all that’s needed!!

Sincerely,
Lost in the government


Dear Pastor,

I only write this letter because I’m so lost and scared.

My husband has left me for another woman. I know what you are thinking, but it’s OK; our marriage was really over for a long time.

But now…now I don’t know how I am going to pay my bills or even feed my kids. My poor kids are as lost and scared as me. Since my husband left, their grades at school have gone downhill. My son told me he just couldn’t concentrate anymore, that he just felt like a failure. I hugged him tight and told him that wasn’t true, but I don’t think I was very convincing. After all, I know how he feels.

After he fell asleep, I slipped away to my bedroom. I crawled into a dark corner and started to cry. I could head the sounds of life hounding me. And so I crawled deeper into my corner and held tightly onto myself.

Tell me pastor, what does your god have to offer? What will he do for me if I come to your church?

I have some friends that go to church. Some are happy but many seem sad. Really they don’t appear to be very different from me. There were very sympathetic when they heard of my divorce. Many are actually divorced themselves.

But I don’t need sympathy. I don’t want sympathy or their tears. I need someone. I need someone to come to me, to hold me tightly in their arms and wipe my tears away. Would your god do that? Yes, you say, but how come so many of my friends who go to church are so sad. Why doesn’t you god comfort them. What are they doing wrong? They seem so alone; won’t I end up just like them.

If I knew of someone – someone who would hold me tight – I would scream about them to all of my friends.

But I don’t hear that about your god. What I hear sounds like all the other so called gods, lots of rules; live a hard life and you will be rewarded at the end. But I need someone now. I’m scared now. I’m lonely now. I weep now. I’m lost – now. If your god is not like that, show me something – show me something I don’t see in my church friends. Please, show me your god still cares, even for me.

Lost and all alone


Dear Pastor,

You don’t know me. I don’t go to your church, but I pass by your sign everyday on my way to school. I love the little sayings you put on the sign.

But that’s not why I am writing. I have a problem. Well, I may have a problem. I might be pregnant, and I’m only 17. I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do.

My family and I go to another church. Sorry no offense. There was a 16 year old girl there who got pregnant. She was treated so rotten. Everyone called her names behind her back. They wouldn’t talk to her or invite her to anything. I guess her parents weren’t treated much better. It’s like the family was forced right out of the church.

What am I going to do? I know it would be wrong for me to have an abortion, though, it seems like it would be a lot easier. I mean I made one mistake. I’m not seeing that boy any longer. I don’t want everyone to hate me and call me names and kick me out of the church. I was wrong. I’m sorry.

Our preacher talks about how God loves us even though we all screw up. Do you talk about things like that too? Will God forgive me? Will my parents forgive me? Will the church forgive me?

That girl who got pregnant doesn’t live too far from me. I talked to her not too long ago. She had a baby boy. He’s so cute. She and her family don’t go to church anymore anywhere. Funny though, she seems a lot happier now. But I wonder if that baby will ever get the chance to go to church.

I can’t imagine not going to church. I think I would be devastated. I know this was a big, big mistake, but does it have to cost me my god?

What should I do if I’m pregnant? Would you church forgive me, or would it be the same there? Would they love my baby and me just the same as anyone else?

Please help,
Lost with a baby


Dear Pastor,

On my way to work, I noticed an advertisement for your church. I never noticed it before, so I though it must be new, I was actually pretty stunned to see a church advertise on a billboard. Not that I think it’s wrong or anything. I like your message too, “Come be a part of our family…”. It reminded me of days long ago and our church family. If you have a moment or two, I would like to tell you about my church family.

It all started back in my 20’s when a friend of mine invited me to church. I gotta admit that I liked that first service. And I didn’t want to disappoint my friend, who was so excited, so I kept coming

Well eventually, I got it, and I was saved. And it was at church where I would meet my eventual wife. That friend who invited me to church, he was my best man. Each time one of my children was born, the church wives brought meals. My kids grew up in the kids program. Our church family was indeed our family.

Of course, every family has some bad times. It was during one of those bad times that my wife and I made some bad choices. It doesn’t really matter who did what, but we both hurt pretty bad. It seemed like our lives, our family, was heading towards a cliff.

Apparently some of these bad choices became public among the church members. In a very short amount of time, it seemed everyone in the church knew. Honestly, my wife and I didn’t hurt anyone else except each other. But we were beat up pretty bad. So you think that family of ours would wrap us up with love and help us through this difficult time!

I don’t think the reaction we got had anything to do with love. No, we were shunned by the church. My friends didn’t open their homes to me, they stopped inviting me over. My wife’s friends were nothing less than wicked. They stopped speaking to her only to speak horrible things about her.

While our pastor preached messages about the love of Christ, the congregation – our family – turned their backs in condemnation. We were betrayed by the ones we loved and thought loved us the most. We left the church shortly there after.

As you can imagine, that betrayal only made our pain ten times worst. We both suffered in silence with our family gone. It took a long while, but my wife and I finally worked out our problems, and we did forgive each other. And now we love one another again.

In this process, we’ve made some new friends. Some go to church, some don’t. But I have never, and I mean never, accepted another invitation to church for any function. My wife, she never wants to take a step into a church again. I get guilty every now and then. The pastor always told us we should tell others about Christ – or at least invite them to church. We obviously don’t do that. Church just isn’t a place I recommend. We still Christians though, right? Salvation can’t be taken away, right? All my kids were baptized while they were young, so they are covered too, right? None of us speak much about church or God these days.

Every now and then when I am reminded about church like after seeing your sign, I wonder what could have been if things had been different – if we were still at the church.

So tell me about your church family. Is it like my family, the family that disowned me? Yes all families go through bad times, and some unfortunately do stop talking. But I never thought that should happen in church families. We made some mistakes, but we needed someone to talk to and to help us, not to talk about us and pretend we don’t exist. I do hope your family isn’t like that, but I wouldn’t place much hope on that advertisement campaign. I think word of mouth advertising about all those bad church families like ours has really turned people off to church.

Sincerely,
Lost in betrayal



Dear Pastor,

Thank you pastor. I appreciate all you have done for my family and I during this time of sorrow. My mother’s death has certainly hit our family hard especially me.

You asked me where I disappeared to after the funeral. I went to our basement away from those few final mourners. I was tired. I collapsed into a chair.

And slowly I let the day go and let my mind drift. But of course, I thought of my mom. She was a good person. We all loved her very much, and I think she knew that.

Did you know pastor; I was the only one of our family to become a Christian. Our family just didn’t go to church. My mom wanted nothing to do with it. She really didn’t mind that I was a Christian; that was my choice just not hers.

I remember trying to witness to her and share my Christian beliefs with her a couple of times. Maybe plant a seed as church people often say. She was never really interested, and I certainly didn’t want to offend her or rock the boat.

Now, my mother is dead. I don’t even know what that meant to her. But I know what it means to me. She’s not really dead, but she has passed from earth to eternity, an eternity of suffering separated from God. That’s what we believe right? She will suffer, not just a little, but unimaginable suffering for all eternity right? I guess I am hoping that you hold some secret, and that simple truth our faith is based on is not really true.

But if it is, and I knew this truth. What did I do about that, or what didn’t I do. I have been saved for many years, and all I ever did was made some minimal effort to plant a seed. This was my mom who I said I loved. Did I really? Couldn’t I have made more of an effort? If I had, maybe she would have seen how important this was. She would have seen this was not some lifestyle choice, but this was real. That there was something important, very important at stake. But so often it seems we put more effort into inviting our friends and family to Christmas dinner that we do inviting them to our eternity. All cause we don’t want to rock the boat. But my mom didn’t really have a boat. She was drowning. And I did not jump in to save her. I walked away from a drowning soul cause I was too busy. If you walked away from a drowning man, wouldn’t it be murder? So what am I? I had what she needed to be saved. Shouldn’t I have bugged her more often? But I didn’t want to rock her boat. I didn’t want to offend her. She was ill. We knew she was dying. I should have been yelling. I should have been screaming every single day. No, I walked away. I am a murderer, but not of body but of soul. So horrible to deprive a man of his few years of life on earth; how much more horrible it is to deprive a soul of their eternity. I am a soul murderer.

Pastor, surely you will disagree with me, but can you really deny it? Can any of us? We say we know the truth that will save a world from a horrible eternity. But is that how we live when most of us struggle just to get a church once a week never mind changing people lives.

I know God will forgive me. But how can I forgive myself? Would mom forgive me?

Sorry,
Murderer of the lost


In the last hour, there have been about 282.5 deaths in the US. If 25% of US are Christians who believe that you must have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ to avoid an eternity of suffering, then in the last hour…

212 souls were lost for all eternity – just in the US.

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