Humor

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Terrorist Cell Found In The Catholic Church
© 2007

by

Stephen A. Peterson


On January 6, 2007, the East Louis Police Department found seven terrorist cell groups in the local Catholic Church.

After carefully observing members who attended Saturday and Sunday Masses, Officer Potter identified these as: Bin Swearin, Bin Sinnin, Bin Fornin, Bin Cryin, Bin Move On Dot Org, Bin Missin, and Bin Abortin. Their leader, Osama Bin Satan, educated and trained these groups to degrade, misinform and divide parishioners. The plan is to register into the Church disguised as Catholics to work within each parish to discourage vocations, point out Church errors in its teachings, and destroy the pastor’s relationship with his parishioners.

An earlier report of an eighth group was later determined to be false. A small, seemingly insignificant group known by the name Bin Thinkin is actually the only effective counter terrorist force in the church. When closely examined this cell appeared to be very weak. The Bin Thinkin cell Officer Potter found was fairly easy to detect because it is the only cell that is active in the teaching of the principles of Jesus Christ to church members. Unlike the real terrorist cells, the Bin Thinkin cell does attempt to blend in with whatever comes through the church.

Bin Thinkin cell overtly does whatever is required to motivate, encourage and unconditionally love people inside and outside of the church body to come to accept Jesus Christ without shame or fear. Officer Potter noticed that the Bin Thinkin cell has evolved characteristic not observed in the other cell groups. New, enthusiastic leaders have stepped up—Bin Hopin, Bin Actin, Bin Prayin, Bin Givin, Bin Visitin, Bin Talkin and Bin Prayin. These leaders are active and relentless!

Which cell do you claim?

Investigators in 25 other American cities have found cell groups in other denominations since Officer Potter filed his report in East St. Louis, Illinois on November 24, 2006. The Office of Homeland Security is covertly co-coordinating their efforts with the Bin Thinkin cell to infiltrate the activities of the seven terrorist cells now known to be active in Catholic and other Christian denomination churches throughout the United States and perhaps in churches worldwide.

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