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Timing is of the essence for the backward man. Look at him, he is going back in time and forward in sin. Who will help him? Who can save him? He is reaching for the crimson, his hands are bathed in glory, and he has come around again.

1990. I am on my way now. Time has sure flown by. New feelings, emotions, and memories. I am standing in my back yard. Two smiles running toward me, dinner is served.

In the appointments of my surroundings I am found out. I could not hide any longer. A scroll was opened but did not hit the floor. My eyes are fixed on Jesus; He smiles and says step inside!

When imaginations subside, we are left with reality. A dose of anger and grief does not equal peace. Listen to the music..what is it saying? Watch the eagle..how does it fly? Turn toward the inner man then step aside. What do you see?

N A tree blows in the wind, my mind with it. Summer comes and nothing has changed. The same old, the sun always looks the same. Take me with you, let me fly with you, for just a little bit, I'll be back, I have too..

A familiar grin stares at me. Is it different this time? You are so strong, or so you say.. You cannot live for us, you cannot live for him, yet you said you would live for her? I look down and my shoes are untied, crossing the street brings me to different worlds. Who will help me tie my shoes this time?

New breath, a new life looms close by. I love you buddie! I am so happy you are now a part of us. Just wait, we will do so many things together. I will say it and it will be so! We will go there, we will go there, maybe we will just stand in a garden. Look quickly, the sun is about to drop, it is dropping on our day. Don't worry, tomorrow will bring more exciting things. Lay your head down and picture your favorite color, the sun is coming back round again.

Fools! Who am I to think things would be different? I tried that, it did not work! I am learning new ways however, I think I will get my full fufillment, be it at the end of a trail or elsewhere.

Music is playing in the background, I am all by myself. It is not dark yet, in fact, looking out my window reveals various shades of green, stained brown, white, and grayish hues. Something has come between us, I know it is for the good. I close the door behind me, please, make the voices stop! In the morning, golden scenes replace the latter, my door is still locked, I need to open it.

1 year = new, 2 years = neat, 3 years = hard sometimes, 4 years = confusion mixed with relief, 5 years = new life, 6 years = new thinking, 7 years = stability, 8 years = routine, 9 years = growth, 10 years = God.

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