Humor

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At the Woodcrest Nursing Home
They treat us pretty well
The nurses give us medicine
They answer every bell.

And in this Christmas season
They try to make things bright
They hold a great big party
With gifts, each Christmas night.

They put our names into a hat
And each nurse drew one out.
They pledged to buy us each a gift
And they will; there’s no doubt

And just so they will know for sure
What gifts we’d like to see
They took a sheet of paper
To post where all could see.

You’ll find my wish up on that list
Under the big old wreath.
My only Christmas wish would be
To get back my front teeth

My teeth were on my nightstand
A’soaking in their cup
I knocked them on the floor one day
And couldn’t pick them up

The dentist took them out to fix
She said they’d be back soon
But ever since they’re gone I must
Eat dinner with a spoon

I miss eating caramels
I miss corn on the cob
If I get mush for Christmas
The chef may rue his job.

So keep your Chanel Number 5
And stow your knitted scarf
And Mrs. Henson’s fruitcake
Would make a glutton barf

I just want to chew my food
It would be a relief
If I ate my Christmas dinner
With a brand new set of teeth!

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