Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Wednesday November 29, 2006

I talked with a man who is in a peck, perhaps a bushel of trouble and with a smile on his face and hope in his heart he said to me; 'Larry, I am not worried; my friends will see me through this.' Do I detect shades of Barnum in this utterance?

The truth be known when you are in real trouble there is usually very little that friends can do, and so they do nothing. You will happier and more useful if you learn to be a friend who can be counted on, rather than counting on others. Over the course of your life you will be swamped with opportunities to be there for friends, some whom you never dreamed would need you for such a time as they are facing.

May I say yet again; the purpose of these articles is the development in your heart a desire to BE a friend, not waste precious moments of your limited life wishing you had more and better friends on whom to lean.

In the now many moons that I walked upon God's green earth, I have seen what I call the 'Friends of the Controller.' These poor souls are minions in the grip of a person who permits all sorts of people to lean on him, or her, for affirmation, for a job through influence, for protection, even to the finding of a mate. Many cultish religions, even some clothed in pseudo bible verses, pick out who you can or cannot marry. All relationships must have the approval of the guru. He may even be a Baptist.

The Lord wants you to learn to be a true friend who helps those who are weaker, and one who does NOT take advantage of their weakness.

Charles Shelly commented on this when he wrote:

"Favour is to be esteemed, but not depended on. He that stands on another man's legs, knows not how soon they may fail him. Be sure therefore never to lean too hard upon any man, that if he sinks he may give thee a fall."

In the field to which I am called the danger of climbing up the ladder on the basis of the friendship of higher ups is rampant. One of the many problems associated with this is the propensity of 'higher ups' to break a leg so to speak, and all who leaned on him, are brought low along with the stalwart. I think of a man I know by reputation alone who was anointed heir to the throne of a super large church. In the process a serious, horrible sin or I should say, series of sins over a period of years involving little children was covered up. These acts had been committed by the former occupant of the throne. Now it is all coming down upon the current mans head. He is by all accounts a good, honest man. Yet he leaned a little heavy on a friend not so morally clean and honest. Now he is paying a high price. A predictable shame, but a shame nonetheless.

In my calling and for that matter any calling or profession a man will do well to ask himself and a few trusted friends, "Is the opportunity coming my way, based on the gifts God has given to me, or am I getting this strictly on the recommend of a higher up?" If any point of integrity must be compromised in order to inherit the throne, walk, rather run away, quick.

May I say to you that if you are always reminding your 'friends' of all you have done for them, you may be their nightmare rather than a friend. Controller is the correct word.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit

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