Healing

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In your relationship, you probably felt like you could not trust your own instincts and games were played with your mind. Even though you left the abuser, you are left with the residue of these thoughts around the clock.

The Most Important Building block for your recovery foundation is Validation and Self Approval.

Are these words foreign to you? They were to me. The only validation you may have received came from your abuser in the words- you are not enough and why can't you just do what I ask. Are those words familiar?

In order to feel that you are worthy of being in recovery and break the cycle of entering into another abusive relationship, learning to sense your own value and approving yourself becomes priority.

How do you learn to validate yourself?

1. Detach from needing the approval of others. When you concentrate on approving yourself from your own set of guidelines, you will be able to see and praise your own progress of recovery. It gives you a great sense of hope and confidence that you took a step to do something differently.

2. Baby steps, Baby Steps. Okay Ladies, let's have fun with this one. Is it hard for you to feel a sense of accomplishment unless you solve world hunger? And even with that you want people there to tell you how wonderful you are. In my own experience of recovery, this was and still is a work in progress. Even though you were expected to be an unpaid mind reader in your relationship, you can now relax and enjoy your own victories no matter what it is. This time you set the rules. This will help you to develop confidence in enjoying yourself without needing the opinions of others.

3. Believe that You are fabulous. Just because.

You were created by God and his life is in you, you are enough. Everyday you take a step to apply this truth, you will start to believe it. By habit, your mood may be determined by the reactions of others. Don't be surprised if this step may seem a little uncomfortable at first. Whatever you do, just do your personal best and know that is all anyone can do.

If you apply these three steps in your life consistently at your own pace of validating and approving yourself, you will be on your way to living the life of your dreams.

You are a Bold Woman Worthy of the Life you want to live!

Dr.Yukio Strachan Phillips is the author of "I will not be Broken" How to Shut Down Verbal Abuse and Bring Out Your Inner Diva.
As founder of http://www.boldandworthy.com, her passion is to empower women to identify and shatter false beliefs that keep them in abusive relationships.

Her special area of focus is raising awareness of spousal abuse in Church Communities across the world.

Her Powerful Ezine, Bold and Worthy, will inspire people to rise above limitations that past experiences have left on today. You can sign up for her ezine and free 7 day Mini-Course at http://www.boldandworthy.com where you will find more resources for healing wounds of emotional abuse.

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