Holidays

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What? You didn't know there was a Thanksgiving poop list? There is. My name is number one on the list this year. ELIZABETH HALE! 'A', #1, all time top party pooper!

I am usually the one who prepares the feast, does all the shopping, cooking, cleaning. Every year I gather the remnants of what used to be a tight knit clan together for at least two meals-Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Here's Thanksgiving. Well, I balked. Because of all the things that are shaking my world at present, I just decided to throw up my hands in defeat. I called off the family feast--the forced festivities. I just can't seem to muster all the necessary ingredients this year.

What I don't get is why no one else in the family has offered to take up my slack. I have been guilted and griped to, made to feel as if the sole responsibility of our being called a family is resting on my shoulders. I told everyone I wasn't stopping anyone else from holding the get-together but no one stepped forth.

I had planned on, resentfully I'll admit, going through with the whole thing. Until yesterday. Yesterday I spent wringing my hands and bawling like a baby. I got home from work to find out that my son Kevin has a FELONY warrant out on him because he refuses to return the car that he also is refusing to pay for. I needed to speak with an administrator at my son Dusty's school and he refused to talk to me. Things are dire at school, not gradewise, moneywise. I am heartbroken because I feel that it really is all about the money now. I have received numerous letters and phone calls in regards to money, yet, no calls from teachers or administrators, no letters, no conferences or meetings requested, not even the required write up of a misbehavior on Dusty's part, but Dusty tells me that he is being placed on 'probation' for some unknown reason. If there is a problem, why has no one from the school informed me? How did it get to this point? I TALK to these people every single day and not a single one of them has mentioned any problems at all. Therefore, I am left to conclude that it is related to money. Dusty is on scholarship--he doesn't have to pay tuition. He has to pay for his books and registration fees. Which we ARE paying! That's it. Yes, the almighty dollar is speaking very loudly to me right now, and it isn't speaking nicely. Don't be fooled, even in a Christian environment. Money makes the world go round. People who claim to love you no matter what, those who claim to care about you--I'm sorry-they don't. Cynical? Possibly. Sad? Extremely. Doesn't the school have a responsibility to inform me of a problem before they drag me in front of the 'BOARD'? You would think so. Yet, here we are without a single clue as to why. It isn't right, no matter which way I try to view it. And since no one will even answer a single question I ask at the school, I will have to twiddle my thumbs until my meeting with said BOARD. Where is the courtesy and respect here? Why is all this just appearing out of the blue? I guess the BOARD will let me know since the school won't.

It's just too much. I am just one person. I am being torn from head to toe. I gave it up yesterday. I won't be forced into happiness, gaiety. Not this time.

So, I'm not feeling very thankful right now. I don't feel like pulling myself together for the greater good right now. I don't feel like doing anything except shedding a few more tears RIGHT NOW. But I'm praying. Right now. Always praying. I hope Jesus doesn't tire of my whining--I can't seem to stop it right now.

But I want to wish everyone else a very Happy Thanksgiving and remind you that even if you can't find a reason to be thankful, there is one.

Jesus.

I am thankful for Him. I hope you are too. And I hope you don't find your name on the poop list with mine! My family may never forgive me. I may not forgive myself since we have no assurance of tomorrow. Maybe I'll live to regret this. I hope not.

God Bless You!

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