Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday November 20, 2006

A little more on friends and friendships that I hope will prove helpful in your search for meaningful friendships that last a lifetime.

Deceitfulness can never be a part of lasting friendships. The very nature of the deceiver defeats the concept and purpose of friendship.

Legal contracts are null and void when fraud is discovered. So are friendships, for a friendship based on fraud was never a relationship at all, but just one person being suckered by the pretense of the pretended friend.

Many of the associations we enter into are too soon moved to the level of friendship and then we live to regret these associations and suffer needless pain. This aspect of friendship is too broad to adequately cover in this brief space, but President Washington's old adage is as true today as when he uttered it in revolutionary times.

"Associate with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company."

Washington's statement is not as simple to implement in your life as you might imagine.

I have a note in the margin of my old Bible, "Most of what your neighbors know about you is what they hear from your friends."

If Washington's advice is followed then common sense demands a time of observing associates for promotion to the level of friend. In making this statement I am assuming you have filtered out many acquaintances, permitting them to remain just that, an acquaintance, and move on in the never ending search for friends. I say never ending for as we grow older friends depart this realm, others just depart and still others for their own reasons no longer include us in their chosen circle. You must learn to deal with this as their choice and it is most likely that you had little or nothing to do with their choice. Often when a suspected friend drops you, in the course of time you will learn just how big a favor this turns out to be.

When a person whom you have called friend proves to be untrue to the commonly accepted principles of civilization or the agreed upon ones of your Christian group, you must accept the fact that you have been had and you have no continuing obligation to the person who perpetrated the fraud, either by outright lying or by pretending to be one thing and really another. A single girl has no obligation to a man who said he is single when in fact he is married. The principle applies to all human relationships. Please do not, when these things happen, rule out the possibility and desirability of restoration.

The purpose of this info is to help you to be upfront and not to practice deception to those who would choose you for friend.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit.

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