Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Thursday November 16, 2006

Several deeply moving notes came in response the yesterday's letter. I want to share one as it contains a principle of friendship that we take so much for granted that we miss its implications in our daily pain.

K.J. wrote:

"My husband took his life a little while ago. The loneliness and pain can be so excruciating at times. Just tonight I was pondering…where are my friends? What have I done wrong? Then your article led me to what I believe is the truth…Jesus wants me to lean totally on Him. This article blessed me and reminded me of the perfect truth, God is able to hold back everything that we would have perfect submission to Him. Thank you."

In His time He will lead this dear sister to the proper people to comfort her, for when a time has run its course we all need someone with 'skin on.'

Other than Jesus, our friends as a rule cannot properly handle our pain. Not being divine, we do not have the make up to get up very close to those whom we love as they suffer. Friends need to grasp the truth that the Lord is giving the 'instant' person, the parent, child or spouse extra grace for the occasion. He has not done this for those of us on the sidelines and if we get any closer, we could get all out of whack inwardly.

When a friend passes, the passing throws a shroud around all who knew and loved the departed one. And those among us with a tid bit of Messianic complex, need to be careful that we do not spend so much time with our friend or friends in their time of grief that we interfere with THE Messiah in His comforting and healing work.

The best thing friends can do is to pray and walk very close to Jesus, trusting that He will guide us as to just when to walk into our friends heart.

A few years ago I was reminded of the old line, "Have I shown you the pictures of our daughters wedding?" and the correct answer is, "No, you haven't and I deeply appreciate it." I called at the home of a man whose wife had been called to glory. I knocked on the door and he answered and I stated, "Harry, I haven't been to see you since the funeral." To which Harry said in all sincerity, "Pastor, I know, and I deeply appreciate it. I needed the time." He was now 'ready' to ruminate about the years he and the Mrs. had shared together. I suppose the courtship, the wedding, the children, the first home, etc all had painted the events in a fresh panorama upon his heart during the time of 'just' Jesus being with Him in a special way.

Friendship is wonderful when it prayerfully considers that the hurting friend may need time with 'just' Jesus.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit.

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