Kids & Parenting

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“Your son has a way with the ladies.”

That isn’t what mothers want to hear, especially when the son is seven-years-old.

I’m writing of Daniel, my youngest, and the comment was made three years ago by his school principal.

Now 10, Daniel still to woos ‘em, and I speak not only of the fourth grade Juliet’s who call our house “just to say hi” to Romeo. Our family took a cruise, and while disembarking the ship at journey’s end, were serenaded by choruses of “We’ll miss you, Daniel.” These farewells were rendered by groups of women aged 60-plus, all giggling and waving.

With a pint-sized George Clooney swagger and grin, Daniel called, “I had fun, girls!”

My husband and I groaned. How many arcade quarters had Daniel charmed these ladies out of during the seven day trip?

I’m sure the women were aware of what Dashing Dan was up to; I’m equally sure they obliged him because—not that I’m partial—he is pretty irresistible.

Daniel is a lady killer, and it’s only partly due to his dark good looks. While our oldest son, J.R., is blessed with golden gorgeousness (again, not that I’m partial), he doesn’t have the female fan base of his brother. He’s a shy guy, still getting comfortable around girls. Daniel, though, knows exactly how to handle females—how to talk to them, touch their hearts and make them feel ultra-special.

This scares my husband and me. Yes, Daniel has a way with the ladies—and the hormones haven’t even kicked in yet.

We know we need to start praying NOW, before Mother Nature gets involved.

When it comes to our children’s purity, we can’t begin praying soon enough. Conception is a good starting point, considering that we’re bringing them into a world that glamorizes promiscuity and promotes whatever-floats-your-boat lifestyles.

Of course, we need to do more than pray. God expects us to teach our children the right choices and how to make them. (Proverbs 22:6) Parents hold different views on when to discuss purity with their children, but I vote for beginning before their curiosity about sex is at high tide, or worse, after they’ve experimented. Start instilling God’s Word and the importance of purity before hormonal surges and peer pressure are competing for attention. (Proverbs 7: 1-3)

Parents, too, need to keep patrol. I know of a party for middle school kids that claimed to be heavily chaperoned. It was, but in numbers instead of action. While the chaperones were inside socializing, the kids were making out in the woods behind the house.

Two words for these clueless chaperones: Like…duh

Recently, I was discussing purity with a woman who has all girls. Her solution to keeping kids pure was this: “Parents need to raise their boys right!”

“Parents need to raise their girls right,” countered I, the mom of all males.

“It’s teenage boys, not girls, who think about sex a thousand times a day,” she argued.

“It’s hard not to,” I said, “when some teenage girls prance around in nothing but Victoria’s not-so-secret underwear.”

We ended up agreeing that all parents need to raise their kids right, including helping them stay pure with appropriate chaperoning and enforcing standards about clothing, entertainment and friendships. Handled correctly, this doesn’t ignite the feared rebellion; it fosters good self esteem. (Ephesians 6:4)

Yet, what about Christian teens? Are we home free on the purity concerns?

No, because Christian teens have hormones, too. Song of Solomon 2:7 warns that sexual love not be awakened before its time (marriage), but behavior can be rationalized, especially if teens think they’re in love. Mature adults have succumbed to temptation, so why naively think that teens will always have the iron will to back off?

I’m not saying we should mistrust our teens, or hire Super Nanny to plop herself between two high school seniors at the movies. We must, however, acknowledge that they’re human. Teaching purity should cover ways to avoid dangerous situations, and how to handle the pressure or temptation to cross boundaries. Such things are common, and escape hatches exist (1 Corinthians 10:13). Think of Jospeh running like a tear in nylon from the clutches of Potiphar’s wife. (Genesis 39: 12)

As for Dan the Ladies Man, right now he’s all talk. Truthfully, he’d rather swallow grasshoppers than even hold a girl’s hand. That will change, and when it does, our prayer is that he’ll woo ‘em with the greatest flattery a boy can give a girl: respecting her purity.

It begins, though, with him first respecting his own.


©Donna G. Morton, September 2006

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