Humor

---

Like most Americans, I’ve been following the political race with great interest. I must confess having a little bit of difficulty figuring out which side is which. In a normal race, everybody in the race is running down the same track at the same time. Not so in a political race. In fact, I find it hard at times to believe any politician is a member of the human race.

A major problem I have with political races is that there are no clear winners. If one party wins an election, the other party claims vehemently that the election was stolen.

Undoubtedly, someone gets enough votes to be elected to a position, and away they go to their political office to do whatever they do after they are elected.

I might be a little rusty on my American history, but I would like to know who in the world came up with this system of government? I can’t help but believe the mess before us … excuse me … I mean the situation before us, was not what our founding fathers had in mind. If the founding fathers would ever come back, not only would they not recognize our country but also they would probably start a brand new revolution.

Is it just my imagination or have the majority of politicians become alcoholics, drug addicts, sexual perverts and special interest employees? I, for one, am tired of some morally challenged person disguised as a politician, excusing his bad behavior, to put it mildly, on the fact that something happened to him when he was a wee lad in short pants. Or, to make matters worse, to excuse behavior because he has “a drinking problem.”

The only problem they have is too much money and too much time on their hands. There is a solution to both these problems.

It’s getting to the point that I’m taking a little bit of offense at paying my taxes these days. If I bought a car and there was something drastically wrong with the car I could take it back and get my money back. I’m just at the point now where I’m about to go back to Uncle Sam and ask for a refund on all of my taxes.

After all, why do I have to pay for something that isn’t working? Maybe it’s time for Uncle Sam to issue a massive recall on nonworking politician units. Sure, it might be expensive but well worth it in the long run.

Then there are those politicians who say they “feel my pain.” I object most strenuously to this. This is my pain. I’ve worked for this pain and I share it with no one. What are these politicians doing feeling my pain? If they are so desperate for feeling pain, I think I can arrange to have them feel their own pain. How about the pain of firing the whole lot of them? Just the sound of that makes my pain more tolerable.

In general, politicians have two phases. (I almost said two faces.) There is the pre-election phase and then the post-election phase.

The pre-election phase is taken up with getting elected to the office. And our friendly politician is willing to spend millions of dollars, not his own of course, to get to that point. After all, he feels he is worth every cent somebody else pays for him.

Now, once elected, all this energy is focused on his renelection. It may be four years away or six years away, but the day after his election, he begins his renelection campaign. He’s not working for the people, he’s working for his renelection.

If after elected, politicians would do half of what they promised to do before being elected our government could get twice the work done at a fraction of the cost.

I do not believe in evolution for a variety of reasons. However, looking at the run-of-the-mill politician these days, I am tempted to believe that most politicians evolved from some inhuman species. Tempted though I might be to think politicians have evolved from monkeys, I refrain out of deep respect for monkeyhood and would never besmear such noble creatures of the jungle. I’m sure if an election were held in the jungle, the monkeys themselves would never vote any politician to any jungle office. This may account for the general happiness of monkeys living in the jungle. (Maybe the highest form of life after all is the monkey.)

In spite of all the difficulties and problems that we see in our government, as Christians we are called upon to pray for those in authority. “I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; for kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior;” (1 Timothy 2:1-3 KJV)

Thankfully, not all politicians are greedy and morally challenged. There is that lonely politician who, out of a deep sense of loyalty to our country does the best he or she can to serve our country in some elected office. If it were not for these few our country, would be in worse shape than it is today.

My challenge is to pray for those who are doing their best to serve our country, which incidentally, is under God.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE