Encouragement

---

"My heart was saying, 'Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long.' The Lord was answering, 'I must teach you to long for something better.'"
-Elisabeth Elliot

I love this quote from Elliot. The text she draws this from in the Bible is Deuteronomy 8:3:

"And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD." (ESV)

It's a mark of spiritual maturity to realize that God is the greatest desire of our hearts and the greatest fulfillment of our lives. Several weeks ago I went on a one day fast. My theme passage of the day, which brought me a joy unlike anything I've ever felt was John 6:55-56:

"'For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.'" (ESV)

When I was hungry and wanted food, in that state I somehow realized that I wanted God more than food. And his presence was enough for me. It was awesome. In the desert, he did the same thing with the Israelites. He taught them that man lives by every word from the mouth of the Lord by letting them go hungry. Why would we turn our attention to heavenly desires if all our earthly ones are met? Why seek God when the world seems to be enough? (see also 2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

I've long asked God to take away my desires to have a wife now if they weren't from him. "I must teach you to long for something better." And he has taught me. To love God more than food, I had to be hungry. I longed for the food and was deprived of it. And only then did I truly long for "true food" more than physical food. So it is with romance. I desire to get married. There's a strong desire in me for it. But for the moment, I'm not. I pray I will be someday, but that day is not today. Singleness, for those whom God has chosen to one day give marriage to, can be seen as a "romance fast." Just as my unmet desire for physical food forced me to focus on and enjoy the greater pleasures of true food, so my unmet desire for romance will force me to focus on and enjoy true romance. And you know what? I can say from experience that this is true. The more I long for a wife, the more prone I am to go to the verses that talk about God being my portion. In other words, my love for my future wife is a constant reminder of Christ's love for me. By some weird grace of God which defies my understanding, I'm at a point in my life where a) I've never been more satisfied in Christ, and b) I've never had a stronger desire to get married.

Being satisfied above all else in Christ does NOT mean your desire for marriage should decrease. Let me explain. Fasting is not meant to stir up a disdain for the thing being fasted from. It's meant to put it in its proper place. You don't fast from food because it's bad but because it's good. God doesn't give seasons of singleness because romance is bad, but because it's good. Fasting is the act by which we are reminded of the spiritual realities of physical desires. We fast from food to remind ourselves that God is our true food (see also John 4:34). We fast from romance to remind ourselves that true romance is between Christ and the Church. Only when we understand spiritual reality can we know how to relate to its earthly picture in a holy way. Nature is created in such a way to give hints to these realities. When Jesus compared himself to the vine (John 15), he wasn't picking something random and relating himself to it. In his providence and wisdom, God created the vine to DEPICT Christ. The Holy Spirit is not a picture of wind, wind is a picture of the Holy Spirit (John 3:8). Christ's love for the church is not characterized by a husband and wife, but vice versa (Ephesians 5). This is the "mystery" Paul talks about in that chapter.

Only when we realize that Christ is enough, that we are romanced by him, can we ever hope to imitate that love in a marriage between a man and a woman. Those who wish to be most satisfied with their spouse in marriage must be most satisfied with God in singleness.

For a long time I've heard that the thing to do with romantic longings is to give those desires over to God. I've never understood what that meant practically. It sounds as if we should just stop feeling those desires totally and focus on God. Easier said than done though. But I think I'm understanding it now. I think it means that we should embrace those desires, tell them to God, and let him show us how to desire him more through them. Do you want to get married? God's going to show you how to desire him more than a spouse. Focus on verses that describe God as being your greatest treasure (Psalm 73:25-28, Psalm 63:1,3, Psalm 16:11, Lamentations 3:22-26). Are you hungry? He's going to show you how to desire him more than food. Focus on verses (like John 6:55-56, Deuteronomy 8:3, Job 23:12) that talk about God being more desirable than physical food. And when he shows us how to love him more, we are then in the best position to partake of that which we've fasted from.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
-Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

Notice the source of eternal pleasures in this verse. It's God. Notice the fulfillment of everything joyful. It's God. Those who most believe this are those who are most prepared for marriage. What does God want you to do with those uncontrollable feelings for that person? He wants to teach you how to desire him more, and to teach you that he alone can satisfy the deepest desires of your heart.

Fasting is the denial of partaking in certain desires for a time, not the denial of the desires themselves. If you didn't desire it, you wouldn't have to fast from it. Fasts are the withholding of certain things which are, by their very nature, good. Sin isn't something you need to fast from. It's something you need to cut out of your life altogether. Fasting implies the future partaking of whatever you're fasting from. It's not meant to decrease your desire for that thing, but to increase your desire for God. He wants us to desire him more, lest we should make an idol out of food, out of the opposite sex, or whatever.

Singleness is a time of going hungry so that he might show us how sufficient he is. The deepest, most buried desire in the human soul is God. And we do not learn this in times of abundance. It is extremely difficult to learn to let Christ be the great portion of our hearts when we don't know what it means to be alone. We learn this in our dry spells, where he lets us go hungry so that he might show us that our desires for companionship are not satisfied by marriage alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. And the only way to hear those words is to know him and commune with him.

For Him,
Scott

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73:25-26 (NASB)

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE