Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Wednesday November 1, 2006

A letter from an old friend stated, "Yet, my mind was on----------------I need a Christian friend, one I can just share with-----not whine on the woe is me junk, just someone I can be real with.

My friend had been writing about half listening to a sermon that was more motivation than spiritual and for this particular Sunday was missing 'his' mark. It happens to all of us. As a pastor I cannot preach all the time on my needs, but must obey the leading of the Lord to provide the little lambs with a balanced nutrition from the word.

The one supreme mark of true friendship is the conviction that you can be real and open with your friend and they you.

Mary Ann Evans, known to the literary world as George Eliot wrote:

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words but to pour them all out, just as it is, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

Developing this kind of friendship requires patience and a spiritual love for the person. And it requires something that most will not, under any circumstance do: To gain the transparency of another person, you yourself must be transparent. A Cromwellian 'Warts and all,' openness is essential in building deep, life long friendships. When you are willing to attempt this, you will, as sure as the sun rises in the East, experience betrayal on occasion. Yet the value of a true friendship is worth the risk.

Over the span of my life I have watched as friends have faced trouble and I have tried to understand my feelings as I watched some of them come through as though they were a mighty battleship and the roaring sea beating against them seemed to have little or no effect. I also have watched in wonder at men and a few women that I supposed were literal bulwarks fold like a house of cards in a tornado. It is these friends that need encouragement and a 'friend that sticks closer than a brother' the most. To admit that I felt a twinge of disappointment as my friend acted less than gigantic is to admit to the limitations of the human condition. This limit of condition is being adjusted over the years as I realize that each of us will at different points in life be tried in an area of life where we perform with less than the correct 'Christian composure.' In other words, some storm comes and we act like ninnies. When you think about it, what could be accomplished in our growth if we only were thrust into storms we could handle?

The real storms in life are sent or permitted in order that we might know we need Jesus. We often forget this little truth.

I like George Eliot's description of deep friendship and her equation of that friendship with transparency. I admit to being less than transparent, and I am thankful that in the course of a long marriage The Great Blonde and I have become very good friends, who are transparent and therefore we will continue to be the deepest of friends in spite of the fact we are married, to each other.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with Credit.

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