Christian Living

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Escape to Reality

Funny, isn’t it – the way things turned out?
“I am too young to be a Christian I need to enjoy myself, I will think about it, maybe when one foot is in the grave. In fact the Church is full of hypocrites and I don’t want to become one.”

I have been a Christian for nearly forty years dispite my earlier criticisms about God and the Church. I am learning daily that I am not the one keeping myself in the straight and narrow, but it is God, the Creator who lives in me; He daily guides me in the paths of righteousness. My discovery came about seven years after I left my island in the sun.

I was born in Kingston, Jamaica - West Indies in 1938. Jamaica then was a nation very religious – I don’t know what it is like now, but I remember the people were always singing songs of Zion and a natural phenomenon was interpreting the Bible according to their own understanding. ‘I grew up knowing some choruses and hymns, also fearing that God would send me to hell if I did this or that’ I had no clue that rejecting what God had done for me would have kept me out of heaven. I did not know the full story of redemption – God sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross for me (John 3:16-17. I failed to recognise that I was a sinner and totally messed up; I was on my way to hell if I did not accept the gift of salvation.

You see, my life did not turn out as I had expected, emotionally, my hell was on earth; my husband had abondoned me with three children for another woman. I was bitter against God and man. I said, ‘I hadn’t done anything wrong, there wasn’t a God, if there was a God He wouldn’t have allowed my life to be this way.’ I hadn’t asked God to guide my decisions, I was doing my own thing so I was reaping what I had sown; looking back I could see my double standard, ‘Keep out of my business God, so why should God had intervened in my life?’ My mind was made up to get back at my husband, I was filled with bitterness against the world, I was bent on getting even with everyone, his mother, his mistress and anyone dared crosses my path – but God in His mercy rescued me, He diverted the path I was heading and my eyes was vaguely opened.

Although I had no peace then, God allowed a series of events to take place in my life, one of the event was in a dream where Christ showed himself to me, after that I was presented with a proposal of being enticed into a relationship; while this ‘Romeo’ was presenting the world to me, a story from my childhood about Jesus’ temptation flashed in my mind, although I was desparately alone and needed a male companion, I declined the invitation. During that period I was presented with invitations to Church events (which previously I had laughed at) I found myself accepting them, I could not equate Church with these revival meetings though. In 1966 I heard that Billy Graham was coming to Earls Court and believe it or not, I instantly became an evangelist, I told everyone I knew about the crusade, although I was not a Christian.

These events were a turning point in my sad life and I believe they were my final warning from God. I could not wait for the crusade to begin. The crusade began on Monday night and I went with a group of people. However, I rejected the invitations to surrender my life to Jesus Christ on Monday and Tuesday night – ‘I was too far away up in the balcony’ was my excuse; but on Wednesday night I could not be any closer to the arena nor resist God any longer; I came close to having an heart attack, my heart thumped so loudly as I resisted, I felt faint, my emotion was stirred deeply (now I realised that it was God’s Spirit dealing with my hard heart). I stood up and immediately there was a calm within, I responded to the alter call, I repented, said the sinners prayer, walked away with a new life of freedom. I realised the second I accepted Christ a change took place in me.

I was estrange from God and nothing prior to my conversion could have appeased God, I had no peace or satisfaction away from God, I had to take action - acknowledge and accept that Jesus is the only way back to God, and repented and turned in the opposite direction to follow the way of Christ. Funny, I don’t have to work my way back to God, He has given me all the resources of heaven to live a life pleasing to my New Master.

God is real. Serving Him is not boring at all, as I had once thought there are so many new discoveries; the longer I serve Him the more exciting exploits to uncover. I now have an assurance of not going to hell. Have you got that assurance? The Bible says, ‘the wages of sin is death – (separation from God) the gift of God is eternal life (united to God and assured of heaven) Romans 6:23.
My Story Escape to Reality Joyce Johnson


My Reflection

Prayer
Lord, I need You, guide me in ordering my life aright!!
My prayers are spontaneous throughout this piece of writing; and this is my response as I prepare myself for repentance, deliverance and change that I know will transform my life.
“Lord, You spoke to Pastor Ian, that he should lead the Church into repentance, for four Thursdays throughout the month of September. Pastor Ian also mentioned a book he read stating that they are 4 sides to revival which are: intercession, repentance, evangelism, and signs and wonders; he stressed that if the Church would pray earnestly God will move in answer to our heartfelt repentance. Father, I give myself toYou. Lord,You know where I am at because my whole spiritual life is laid out beforeYou. So, dear Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit, reveal to me every sin in my life; Lord, every unrepented area. You said if I ask I shall receive. Father I am askingYou now to show me, so that I can repent from any sin. Lord I want that change, please change me and show me what to do. In my contemplation ‘I use a line of this song:
Lord, You have my heart, and I will search for Yours, let me be to You a sacrifice.’
Father, show me what sacrifices I need to make. Lord, I feel so alive. Lord, I want to die to myself, I must die. How can I really reach the place in my Christian life where I am totally dead? O God, show me.
The voice was clear, God spoke in my spirit, ‘I require sacrifice and death.’ The implication of these words gripped me as I sought for the definion. I will define both the secular and the spiritual terminology of sacrifice, death, and to die below.
• Sacrifice: is the killing of an animal or a person, or the giving up a possession as an offering to God; it is also an act of giving up somehing one values for the sake of something that is more important. Give up, forgo, forfiet, let go and surrender.
• Death: the action or fact of dying; an instance of a person or an animal dying; the end of something; bereavement, passing away, demise, decease etc.
• To die: is to stop living; become extinct. Expire, pass away, and to pass on.
• In the Old Testament God sacrificial order was instituted as a means whereby He could:
• (a) preserve His absolute holiness, which required all sin punished
• (b) sacrifice is also redemptive, showing God loving kindness and mercy to mankind. Requirement was the death of an animal, by shedding its blood; sacrifice in the OT was a picture of Christ in the NT as a payment for man’s sin.
Since Christ had already sacrificed His blood for my sins; what sacrifice can I offer to God? While weighing up the sacrifice of Christ and my sacrifice, it didn’t add up. However, I know that whatever sacrifice I’m going to make, God is able to take me from where I am, to where He wants me to be; all I need to do is to surrender to Him. The sacrifice I had to make is an exchange that is; giving up of self which I value so much, for a right standing with Christ which is far more important.
Reflection
As these words spoke to my heart – sacrifice and death, knowing the implication of what I heard it was beyond me; a cry came from deep within ‘Woe is me I’m a dreadful sinner,’ I was on the brink of spiritual despair, agonising about what kind of sacrifices I ought to make, I saw myself alive and incapable because of my negative response to various situations. The Holy Spirit shook me out of what might have been a spirit of hopelessness. Suddenly in a flash I realise that God was not condemning me. I was surrending to God but the devil was doing his utmost to steal that sacred moment. I struck back and boldly declared the characteristic of my Heavenly Father. God is compassionate, full of love and mercy and He wants the best for me, God would never condemn me, it was the devil’s character to condemn.
The Bible says, “Now, there is therefore no comdemnation, to those who are in Christ Jesus---Romans 8:1, and this statement was an announcement to Satan which I recorded on my note pad and later transferred to my computer.
Lord, I am not going to beat myself up because You don’t want me to do so. You are my loving Heavenly Father and Your desire and plans for me are all good. You want me to change from glory to glory and You are with me and You are helping me to do so. You have sent me my Helper (Holy Spirit), He comes alongeside me to help me through. Lord, thankYou for the changes that is already happening in my life.
Lord, I am devoted to You. O my Father I must see Jesus; I must be like Jesus Amen.
My Declaration:
Seeing You Jesus and to be like You is my heart’s desire; Lord, it is not a cliché. My assignment during this month of repentance is to trace the path of Jesus and follow in His steps. I know that this path would not be easy nor will it take me to a physical cross, and possibly not a physical death but to death of the ‘soulish realm – death to self.’
In Philippians 1: 20 For me to live is Christ and to dies is gain---;
Galatians 2:20 Paul says, I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.
Lord Jesus, I mean every word. The longing of my heart and desire is to die to myself and to renounce every fleshly attitudes, be it mental, emotional or and spiritual. Lord, You know this is not the first time that I have laid myself bare before God, gathered strength to walk with Him for a little while in the strength of that prayer and then suddenly without any warning, the flesh becomes dominant again and around the ‘mulberry bush I come.’ Lord, help! I would cry. Followed by confession and making decisions to focus on Christ, vigorously reading the Bible and drawing closer in fellowship with Him.
Lord, I believe this call by Pastor Ian for the Church to seek God together during the month of September is crucial; we need to change and begin to live out Your word. Jesus You will soon appear and You are coming for a body without spot and blemish. I believe that it is God who is calling us to repentance and I don’t want ‘to be stuck’ in the same rut until Jesus come. I had to respond to the call and earnestly seek God.
So during my prayer, repentance and meditating pondering what the Holy Spirit had spoken in my heart, – God requires sacrifice and death (to self); an almost ancient the hymn ‘I want my life to be---’ popped into my heart and I began using the words as a prayer to God.
(1) “I want my life to be all filled with praise to Thee,
My precious Lord divine who died for me,
Let all my will be Thine, controlled by love divine
Live out in me Thy life, O mighty Saviour.
Chorus
Thy blessed will divine, with joy I make it mine,
My heart shall be Thy throne and thine alone,
Choose thou the path I thread and whither I am led,
Help me to follow on, O mighty Saviour.
This cry from my heart, ‘I must see Jesus, I must be like Jesus (dying to myself) have motivated me to seek God during this month and to search the Scripture briefly to trace His (Jesus) footsteps. Following the assignment from God I purposefully started to look at Christ’s sacrifice which culminated in self-denial and death wrapped up in humility.
Christ’s humility is the reference point found in Isaiah 53:3-7 reveals; He is dispised and rejected by men ---we did not esteem Him---. Jesus was disgusted by men they refused to accept Him although Jesus was the Son of God, He was rejected (excluded, discarded and dismissed). Jesus was not only the Son of God but God Himself. He held the high and lofty position, yet He voluntarily relinquished His position and became a servant and took on the form of mankind. The concept of Jesus’ sacrifice is hard for us to grasp that He (Jesus) was not held in high esteem nor was He respected or admired by men, although He came to earth to be a deliverer and was doing good to all yet they called Him a son of Satan, an imposter, and an illegitimate nobody.
The Scriptures had predicted (both in the Old and New Testament) the whole life of Jesus; His birth, life, death and resurrection, that He would be despised and rejected, and finally crucified. Everything about Jesus was concealed in the Old and then revealed in the New Testament, for example:
In Psalm 22:6 shows a picture of Jesus’ life, agony and death, and how He would be despised by the people;
Psalm 105:25 foretold that Jesus would be a reproach to the people when they looked at Him, then in Matthew 27:39-44 on the cross the Scriptures were fulfilled. It was there on the cross that Jesus exchanged His sinless life for my sinful life. What sacrifice! The only sacrifice I could offer to Him is all of my heart, and to deny myself; take up His cross and follow Him.
The following day still pondering about sacrifice and denial of self, the Father exploded this verse in my heart – “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart --- these, O God, You will not despise. I knew these words were from Psalm 51 but not the verse so I looked it up, and there in verse 17 it beamed like lightening. In that Psalm 51:17 God defined the sacrifice and death and He made plain that my own spirit had to be subjected to the Spirit of God, and my heart crushed to make room for His Spirit. God also made a promise that if I or we obeyed Him, He would accept my or our sacrifices. So in response I promised that I would do everything in my power to pursue what He had commanded.
I found some of the decisions which I had made recently, was in response to someone who was very much alive. I had to question myself to see where I am spiritually so I began to reflect on my actions, reactions, and motives behind the things I am doing; because my focus and decisions were more on the creatures (people) instead of the Creator (God). Am I really dead or do I want to die?’ You see, the definition of a dead man or woman is to stop living or the end of something; consequently a dead person don’t feel pain, can’t be intimidated, can’t experience insecurity, nor feel rejected; a dead man isn’t able to defend himself nor demand respect. David said in Psalm 6:5 recognising the state of a dead person: For in death there is no rememberance of You; in the grave who will give You thanks? If we are really dead physically we do not have emotions according to David; this anology to die in the flesh, meant when our flesh is dead our senses are dead also.
Jesus faced many hostile situations yet not once he reacted, defended Himself or demanded respect, Jesus was totally dead and selfless. “I only did what My Father wanted Me to do” said Jesus; that is real obedience, selflessness which eventually led Him to death on a cross. He is my perfect example.
As I draw near to the Light, I know that darkness has to go. The Scripture says “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit Psalm 34:18. Another Psalm says, “The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth” Psalm145:18. God fulfils all His promises.
As I reflect on various situations in my life and also what God is expecting me to do I agree I must die in order to truly live. ‘Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Me’ and it is also a universal call to the Church. I can not neither can the Church continue to go through the motion relying on outward performances that appeal to the flesh; this is only acceptable to man’s standard and not God’s. Also, neither should we rely on our natural abilities and boost our own self-image. God is looking at our heart motives. We need to, but do we ask ourselves during any activity, ‘Is what I am doing God directed or man?’ If and when we are driven by man made requirement we are not pleasing God. To be driven by men is a form of manipulation and control which hold members of Christ body captives and eventually brings the body into bondage.
Bondage brings fear and fear is associated with lacking in confidence and low self-esteem. Man made requirement restricts the members of the body and cannot be stressed that it caused the body to ‘disconnect’ from our Commander in Chief; and when this happens we loose our freedom in Christ. The Bible says, “It was for freedom that Christ has set His Church free.”
Death to self brings freedom, and this freedom releases the body of Christ from outside pressures of manipulation and control. God does not want man made effort but a contrite spirit. He wants us to die but if we insist in doing it our way our works is going to be burnt like trash on that final day, obedience is better than our self effort, we must die to self. Hear what the Lord says to the people of Israel ‘He dwells with those who have a repentant heart’:
Isaiah 57:18 – “For thus says the High and Lofty One, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy, I dwell in the high and holy place, with him who has a contrite spirit to revive the heart of the contrite ones.”
Jesus gave a parable about the last day, when many will come and say, “Didn’t we do this or that in Your name?” Jesus said, “I never knew you, depart from Me ---” Matthew 7: 21-23.
This is very sad to know that many on that day Believers who had been seen actively doing God’s work, hard workers who titled themselves as deliverance ministers, men and women full of power for the hour,’ – who had prophesied, cast out demons, and performed many miracles in Jesus’ name; yet He said to them, ‘I never knew you.’ Why is that? God is looking for those who earnestly seek to do His will and to follow in His precepts. He wants us to deny ourselves and follow Him; not follow the limelight, Jesus never followed the limelight.
Naturally when we abide in God (in the vine) we will bear fruit. Jesus is looking for fruit and it is only the Godhead determines the fruit behind our works. Remember, He looks at the hidden motives. God provides our Helper to assist us in our fruit bearing and He has provided everything we need to assist us in doing His will and all that God requires from us, His body is an obedient and willing heart.
My reflection is only an inaudible assessment written on paper about my experiences. How many times have I found myself repenting? Lord I need to change permanently and for a while everything seemed all right, then episodal lapses, back to ground zero again. I believe in my heart this time will be different, changes in my life would take place because God has pinpointed my dilemma. God requires me to have a true heart and pure motives, He requires me to make sacrifice and die to self and by obeying His commands my soul will be truly released. I know that the change has begun. I am on a journey and by His grace I am determined to follow through to the end. What I don’t know is where this personal article will end, but my desire is the piece of writing will be helpful to others travelling on the same journey. However, I could not end the article without a verse from Micah 6:8 showing what the Lord requires but first of all I will look at other references:


What does God require?
God requires sacrifice, death to self and a clean heart. Moses spoke to Israel about what God expected of them.
In Deuteronomy 10:12 And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.
Genesis 18:19 God gave a command to Abraham to teach his children and his household, ‘What was the command?’ The command was – they should keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice---
Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O man, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you, but to do justly and to walk humbly with your God. In response to the texts, I had to analyse where I am at with God. Do I fear God enough to obey Him? Do I fear Him enough to do justly and walk in humility? Do I love the Lord enough to put Him first? To answer these questions I can’t say I really love the Lord as I should but I am getting closer. The only remedy that would meet those requirements is death to self, and to die means sacrifice and this is what the whole article is about.
The month of repentance is all about death and it is turning from our ways to God’s way; it is the way of the cross. Jesus said, If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me Matthew 16:24.
Jesus said “I came to do the will of Him who sent me (paraphrased). My Christian triumph depends on my obedience to Christ. I must die, in order that Christ reigns in me. How do I arrive at that point, is there a formula? Well, I could double up my prayer and intercession, repent more thoroughly, and spend hours and hours seeking God. However, if when I finally arrived at the end of this session and my self life is still dominant, I have wasted my time. The only one who will be satisfied would be my flesh and the devil. I can not afford for this to happen. I must ‘up my love life’ both with God and with people that is the only path that leads to real life.
The Bible laid out the way of obedience is to love – for example the Old Testament states the great command is – “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength” Deuteronomy 22:37;
In the New Testament Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” this is the first and great commandment, and the second is like it: You shall your neighbour as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” Matthew 22:37-40.
Sacrificial love is expected in order to die to self, see 1Corinthians 13. Authentic love for me is laying down my life for others as Jesus did, I should not assume myself as better than another brother or sister and my life must be characterised by love in everything I do; knowing and doing is a tall order, so dying to self is the only answer. The Bible says owe no one anything except love Romans 13:8. We are always indebted to love because it was love that nailed Jesus to the cross. Jesus gave a full description and the significance of His death on the cross in John 6:60, 66 when some of His disciples heard Jesus’ words they said ‘this is a hard saying’ and they never followed Him again. They did not wait around to hear Jesus’ prayer for them in John 13, but we have His word and our Helper as our guarantee. The sum total is for us to draw near to God, have fellowship with Him and let Him take over our life.
I know that dying to self is not a quick fix, there will be many challenges and it is a daily thing, the Bible says ‘I die daily,’ God’s grace is suffecient and His grace abounds to me. As long as I am willing God will not leave me destitute to work on my own, but as I work out my salvation, at the same time Christ is at work in me, both to inspire me to do and helping me to do what is expected.
So here I am again early in the month of September 2006, along with the whole Church in New Life Christian Centre responding to the call of repentance and change. My earnest desire is to fulfil the mandate God has given to me. I know the only way to really live is to die and these Scriptures are reminders. Jesus said, Most assuredly, I say unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it produces much grain John 12: 24.
I do want to bear much fruit and I know that each grain is a potential forest for the kingdom of God. The apostle Paul pointed out the Christian’s hope, Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall live with Him Romans 6:8 and in verse 11 he admonish us to count ourselves as being dead to sin; that is to be totally under subjection to the will of Christ and this would enable us to live our lives pleasing to God. Paul’s argument about the resurrected body confirms that the only way to live is to die; Foolish one, what you sow is not made alive unless it dies 1Corinthians 15: 1- 26, 36.
I did hear God’s voice - He requires sacrifice and death, in fact, this is the only way for me to please God. ‘I will gladly surrender to God!’ I guess as I die daily I will learn to say with conviction, what Paul said in Philippians 1:21 – For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. I now begin to draw even more on His grace and mercy to fulfil God’s command. Continuation to this reflection is in part two entitled, Real Life Germinates from Death.




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