Family

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My husband and I both grew up in happy middle class house holds in Long Island, New York. We were young suburbanites. He is of Spanish and West Indian decent and I am African-American
with traces of American Indian on both sides of my family…Cherokee and Seminole Indian.

Our parents had good jobs. We were fortunate, spoiled even. Our financial situation changed after we got married and lived on our own.

I always feared that I would have to deal with the ‘cancer’ issue because that’s what my mom and my grandmother on my father’s side died from. I never thought that I would have to deal with a 'financial crisis'. My husband and
I were left to a 'ground 0'sort-to-speak. Simply because our savings was 'literally 0'.

You know that God is testing your faith when a close relative doesn't want to have anything to do with you even though they are Christians to. Every time I think about how we were treated, I can't help but to think about how Jesus was treated by his family just before he was led to the cross. My problems don’t even matter compared to what the Lord had to deal with!

I remember when my husband and I started our business. We needed a place to stay because we couldn't go back home due to a large balance that was owed.. Rather than ask for the money and be given a speech or told 'no' I asked if we could stay by this particular family member on my mother’s side. My husband didn't have a good feeling about it. I should have took his advice.

I remember my uncle sat us both down and belittled us. He told us that we 'have been married 9 years and we have nothing and that we are in a hole'. We stayed about 3 1/2 weeks and he said that, "If I had known that you were going to stay this long, I would have said no."

I would have ignored and just let the incident go but he is a pastor and he didn't even offer to pray for us while we were in a financial hole. (Please note that my husband and I didn’t spend money on frivolous things. I believe that if we paid our tithes more consistently we wouldn’t have to go through as much.)

If my father was alive or my husband's father, they would have both prayed for us and given
us encouraging words but not my uncle. He didn’t even look at us when he talked. He faced the television while watching CNN. We were scum in his eyes.

At that moment in our lives, we needed encouraging words. During our 3 1/2 weeks
he didn't even talk to us. We traveled from the Pocono Mountains in PA to New York on Sunday’s to his church. The only time we heard a word from him was when he preached in the pulpit at his church.

We were going through a financial crisis. He made it seem as though we lived a life
of sin and we both had sexually transmitted diseases. I've heard stories of people
who had 'Aids' and their families turned their backs on them as they sat in lonely cold apartments with their medicine cabinet filled with medication.

My husband and I didn't fight. We went back up to his guestroom, closed the door and didn’t whisper a word. Whispering was all that we could do so that no one could monitor
our conversations.

I was fuming on the inside. I was hurt and angry at the same time. I lost both of my parents. My mom in ’94 and my dad in 2001. My husband and I went through a miscarriage and in 2001 we had to hire a lawyer to try to fight to get my inheritance that I had lost to my dad’s new wife (no animosity) I was mad because my uncle did not take those things into consideration.

I was suppose to receive $200,000+. An uncle on my father's side told me that I was suppose to receive $6000 a month. I couldn't even get my father's shares of stock which could have paid of the majority of the debt that was owed on our home in the Pocono’s. Plus my father’s house that my mom’s parents built back in the late 1960. That large five bedroom 3 bathroom house would have been perfect for my husband and I...even if we sold the house. The properties that my mom owned would have been enough.
I’m rambling on about these things because at the time, I couldn’t help but to think about
‘what if’…we wouldn’t have to struggle financially. The job market in the Pocono Mountains was null and void. The majority of the people who live in the Pocono’s worked in NY or Philadelphia.

That night, all my husband and I owned was a computer laptop, a mountain of debt and a dream. More importantly, we had Jesus on our side. He took care of us. We didn't have to ask other family members. My husband's mother was a great blessing but we couldn't tell her everything we were going through because she would worry. At that time, she was living with other family members. There wouldn't have been enough space for us. If she had her own place, things might have been different.

We had family in Coatesville, PA but we couldn't ask them because we didn't have a car.
We didn't want to ask because we had fear of being treated like we were treated by my uncle.

The only person that we could talk to was Jesus. He's the only one who provided for us.
He provided us with a warm place to stay. He provided us with food and clothes. I remember that summer, my husband and I didn't have much of a wardrobe for the summer season. We certainly didn't have the extra money to buy a new one.

We walked down the street and this little designer boutique had a sidewalk clothing sale. Everything was $1. It didn't matter if it was a Brooks Brothers Shirt or a Donna Karan
pair of designer jeans...it was $1. We both had new wardrobes in a matter of minutes. My husband bought a pair of Kenneth Cole shoes for $1...his exact size. That was God. We both had new wardrobes for less than a twenty dollar bill.

God is still working in our lives. There are still something’s that we are waiting and
praying for. I know that he's going to work it out. All I want this year is for us
to be happy and healthy. When Thanksgiving comes, I want my husband and I to be at
home around our dinner table with a feast of food. Turkey, Mandarin orange flavored duck, macaroni & cheese, baked ziti and the works. After thanking the Lord for providing us with a new home and a feast of food, we want to watch our favorite movies, the Twilight Zone marathon or even Miracle on 34th street.

Before going to bed at night, we will thank the Lord for his blessings. Thanksgivings is
next month. My husband and I are preparing. We know that God will help us get through once again.

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