Short Stories

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It’s me, RayAnn Snow, and I’ve just had the most horrible and embarrassing day ever!
To start off, I got up late, and was lucky I got up when I did. I must thank my cat for pawing me awake to refill his lacking water dish, and remember not to read novels till 4 a.m. on a weeknight. Anyway I go to get breakfast aaaand I had no milk, so I got dressed, brushed my teeth, did my make-up, yada, yada–then left home.
I decided to grab the most important meal of the day at a fast food place. After I paid at window 1, and drove passed window 2–forgetting to pick-up my food. So I go back up, but there was some geezer behind me in a lux car. He wouldn’t let me reverse, and yelled something out his window about young people being rebellious.
Ok, whatever.
The window guy had to walk to my car and hand me my egg sandwich and coffee.

Well, now I had breakfast, but alas, I was in a line of traffic at the intersection, so I just ate my sandwich while I waited.
As I sipped my coffee the light turned green, and I followed the SUV in front of me to go through the light–when an acorn bearing squirrel jumps out in front of my car!
Out of instinct, I slam on the breaks to spare the critter’s life–good thing there was no one behind me. My whole body jerked with the force of the stop, and as a result I got third degree coffee burns–or at least that’s what it felt like.

I arrived at work, white pants coffee stained, and very late. I clocked in and started to work in the department store I see everyday. Even then, my day got worse by the customer.

One man made me measure his waist ten times because he just knew his waist was 40 inches–not 38 inches, then got mad and said he’d by his suit somewhere else.
The next was an old lady who insisted that her coupon–which had expired in 1991–was still valid, and wouldn’t leave till I gave her thirty present off! I was getting ticked, and just wanted my lunch break before I slapped somebody.

When lunch break came, I got a taco and soda at the food court.
As I took my first bite, I almost choked to death on hard taco shell, and the cute guy that worked at Pizza Stone had to slap my back five times before I could get a good amount of air into my lungs.
Break was over.
I decided to use the bathroom before my shift started. After my shift started, I walked around for an hour before someone told me my fly was down, and I had a taco sauce packet stuck to my butt.
Oh, what a glorious day!
When God made this one He must have been in a state of delirium, because I don’t feel like rejoicing and being glad in it.

This is what made my day dive lower.As I stocked shelves, this teenager came over and asked, “What would he do?”
I looked around to see if he was talking to me.
Yep.
“Pardon?” I’d asked.
“What would he do?”
Ok, I was missing something.
I smiled at him, then walked back to my desk.
He followed, smiling. He was kinda weirdin’ me out, I must say.
He stared at me, “What would he do?”
Ok, I’ve had a really bad day, I don’t need some nutty teen chasing me around.
“What would he do?”
Finally, I snapped, “What in the world are you talking about?! Is this some joke? Where is the camera, kid?! Who are you talking about?! Will you please stop it!!!”
There.
I was out of breath.
The teen looked at me, then pointed to my wrist, “I just wanted to know what He’d do?”
I remembered my W.W.J.D. wrist band.
Before I could say anything to the boy, he’d left.
I felt like a fool.
This just goes to show you, even when you’ve had it up to your eyeballs, remember–it’s not about you!


(c) 2006

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