Humor

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I used to blame our cat Minnie’s excessive behavior on faulty wiring. But lately I've been thinking this may have been hasty judgement. That is often a fault of mine. Had I taken my time, the realization she was taking a philosophic turn would have come clear.

For example, take the food bowl. With the food bowl thing, a cat would have to think long to make half-empty a positive. The conclusion a half-empty bowl really means a soon-full one could only come from a deep thinker. Bad brain wiring could never account for it.

Our first indication of the philosopher/teacher is Minnie sitting staring at it. The bowl that is. The soon-full one. It’s really much better for all concerned to fill the bowl immediately upon noting this posture. But we are often slow learners at our house.

But - no matter. Minnie is willing to educate even the slowest. Lesson one. Stare at bowl; stare at idiot who hasn’t made the connection yet. Alternate the pattern. And the ensuing like unto it; stare at bowl, stare at idiot, squeak like a rusty hinge.

I pause here a moment and reflect. It was the squeaking part that made me first conjecture Minnie might be turning ruminant. Yowling - anyone could put up with for a while. We expect cats to yowl, that is where the word caterwaul came from. But squeaking. Squeaking is Chinese water torture of the ear.

However, it is amazing what one can become accustomed to. And so, on the heels of point three, four often follows swiftly. Note the above heels, for the word will take on new meaning in this phase of Minnie’s polemic. As will ankle, lower leg, and bare toes if available.

The point normally is made while the misadventurer is walking to and fro in their kitchen, ignoring the staring and squeaking. And it usually decides the matter. In fact, I’m thinking that much of Minnie’s new bent for philosophy seized a firmer grip while she was preparing this detail. Cows may contemplate while chewing; but I sense cats do it best, when they sharpen.

As I said earlier, take the food bowl. And fill it.

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