Christian Living

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Mom used to relate this particular incident in my childhood to me. Frankly, I had no recollection of it at all but it would definitely have not been something that I was proud of.

I used to stay with my aunt when I was around one to two years old in this village. She used to rear chickens which she raised from chicks. Mom said that one time, I was holding the chicks and in my excitement, I strangled them to death. She knew that I did not mean to do it but it was just the passion of holding on to them.

As I grew older and wiser, I hope, I realised that this was a picture of some of my relationships. In my love and relationship, I had strangled some of them by my persistence. I was one person who believed strongly that if I am in a relationship, I will work strongly at it. And sometimes, the passion strangled the relationship to death.

Have you ever been in that situation? Maybe, it's your spouse. You continually nag and question where he or she has been. Suddenly, sharing has lost its joy and has become an obligation. An obligation to report to you everything he or she has done.

Maybe, it's your son. Or daughter. In your desperation to be part of their lives, you have pushed them against the wall and their only logical response was to push back. Ever been pushed to the wall by your friend, boss or spouse. A foretaste of what your children feel?

Maybe, it's your friend or colleague. Isn't it strange? Sometimes, our most well meaning actions with the best of intentions results contrary to what we hoped it to me.

I learned something from the Seven Habits of Effective People seminar the other day. Seek first to understand then to be understood.
Listen without prejudice. Listen without prejudgement. Listen with the intention to understand. It is difficult but it is worth it. Worth a million. Try it today.

Maybe it's time to give someone else a breather. A living relationship is better than one close to your heart but dead in your hands.

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