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The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33

Short Stories

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Treasure Hunt

by Tom Stubrich
09/14/06
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The morning dew glistened in the morning light as I made my daily pilgrimage just as I had the past few days. The birds in the treetops greeted my approach. I felt the warmth of the newly awakened sun on my back as I followed along the path. Today perhaps I would at long last find the treasure.
As I reached my destination my steps slowed as my heart raced faster. My eyes scanned the area taking in the abundant foliage which decorated the landscape. My nose captured the fragrance which danced on the breeze from the brightly colored flowers that lined the edge of the clearing. My feet, still damp from the dew, collected samples of black specks as I stood upon bare ground. A few moments of soaking in the sights and smells were all that I allowed myself. I was on a quest.
I left the path and plunged into the thick foliage in search of treasure. Careful not to be entangled among the vines, I crept deep into the rich vegetation. My eyes darted back and forth; busy keeping my feet from a misstep and searching for the prized plants beneath whose leaves I hoped to find my treasure.
My nose was the first to detect the direction in which I would find the goal of my quest. My eyes and feet both followed its lead. Soon only a long slender vine covered with beautiful orange-colored blossoms lay between me and my goal. Its tendrils seemed to reach out in an attempt to grab me to keep me from my destination. Deftly, I stepped over it with one foot then the other one, carefully maintaining my balance to avoid all contact. I knew that any conflict between the two of us would have no winners. I could easily crush it, but in my victory I would in turn become so entangled that I would lose much valuable time from my quest.
As I overcame this last obstacle, I stood face to face with twelve of the precious plants. The dew still glistened on their green leaves. Cautiously I reached out to touch the damp leaves. My fingers felt their softness. Slowly as if not to awaken what may be laying underneath its green canopy, my hands reached through its curtain and pulled them back. My eyes stared through the opening and followed the sunlight which streamed into the dark cavity. They searched the walls of the green cave and saw nothing but green.
Disappointed but unwilling to label my quest a failure, I moved on to the next of the precious plants. I repeated my actions with that one, then its neighbor. One by one I searched beneath each green canopy. With each search my heart grew heavier and my mind grumbled, “It’s hopeless; we won’t find anything. There is no treasure.” My eyes became tired looking at all the green and longed to once again see other colors. All was green: the green leaves, the green stems of the plants, and green spheres hanging like chandeliers from the roof of each green cave.
I approached the last of the precious plants. By now I had surrendered to my mind and was going through the motions with no hope of finding any treasure. I pushed back the green leafy curtain and … I blinked…my eyes strained to focus as the sunlight flooded the green cave. As in all the other green caves there hung green lanterns, but…I blinked again to be sure that my eyes and mind had not teamed up to fool me. This time as I opened my eyes…YES! There, finally, I had found the treasure for which I had entered into this quest.
My hands reached into the green cave past the green lanterns and gently, as if touching a new born baby, caressed my treasure. One hand then cuddled the treasure and with a gentle tug captured the prize. Slowly I withdrew my hand with the treasure firmly but tenderly secured in it. For a moment I treasured the completion of my quest. My daily pilgrimage had borne fruit! The birds joined their song to that of my heart in thankfulness. The sunlight glistened off of my treasure which I now held in my open palm. My lips whispered a “Thank you, Lord,” and kissed my treasure. My eyes feasted on the bright red orb. Then I opened my mouth and bit into the first ripe tomato of the season!

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Susan Johnstone
17 Sep 2006
I liked the imagery and could see that you were drawing out the reader in the description of the 'treasure hunt'. I have a small point to make, that perhaps the word 'quest' was used too many times in the fourth paragraph. Although, I do see that you have varied the word by repeating it in other ways 'my destination', 'my goal'. I'm not sure if it was intentional to have all those sentences in that paragraph ending that way - if it was, well, good! Otherwise, maybe the paragraph structure could be altered a bit.
Donna Kauffman
14 Sep 2006
Fascinatingly written... I was wondering just WHAT the treasure might be and had to smile at the close. Thank you for this piece. Donna Kauffman www.treasuresbooks.bravehost.com

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com. This is especially true with articles that deal with personal healthcare and prophecy. We encourage the reader to make their own decision in consultation with God, His Word, and others as needed.

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