Devotionals

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Dear Lord,

There must be a reason that you awaken me each morning before, what seems like, the rest of the world does. Oh, what a curse to get such little sleep. I have read repeatedly that I must get an average of eight hours per night. But, Lord, there is no way this is possible for the body’s clock that you have given me allows only for five hours of sleep. Sometimes even less.

Rising before the sun, once again as I do every morning. I wonder what it would be like to nestle in bed until the sun comes up or even after. To lull past the early morn, what glory! After all, isn’t the sun the light that You gave me to gently nudge me awake? Lord, sometimes you are so confusing.

Glancing at my husband and children, they look so peaceful. Long eyelashes brushed lightly against tanned faces. All have Daddy’s eyelashes. Both daughters sleep with eyes half open, like Daddy. All four members of my family, upon the lightest of noise, will hold their hands up and spread their fingers wide then relax them slowly as they drift back into the deep sleep that I so desperately long for. Why hadn’t I noticed this before?

But that is not my calling. My calling is to rise even before the rooster crows, even before the earliest of morning joggers. The need to awaken early is so deeply rooted in me that if I lie in bed a moment longer, I literally feel sick and my nerves start to rule me. Opposite of most people who become ill when they don’t get enough sleep. It’s as if you want to pry me out of bed, Lord, with a force so strong that I have no choice but to get up and do!

What is this cup that you have handed me, Dear God? I’ve wrestled with insomnia, light sleep, and sleeping disorder for years. Have I not meditated enough? Maybe my daily nourishment and food selection isn’t of quality? Is my stress level too high? Haven’t I committed to exercise, whole eating, and relaxation?

No more questions, God. No more searching. I’ve quit fighting what has been given me. It’s no use to wrestle with You. Why did I not learn this years ago? Why am I so dense sometimes? Well, at least I finally learned it.

Whilst the world savors in a little more slumber, I spend time with you, Lord. And with me. All is quiet in my home, in my neighborhood, and in my world. What a grand time to have started my morning with a daily devotion. A devotion to you, God. You speak so gently, so quietly. I would never hear you with the busyness of my day had it not been for my rising before the sun. The things you tell me. I’m beautiful, You say, my sins are no more. Lord, do you really look upon me with such awe as a new parent proudly acknowledging each baby step that his child takes? Are you really that amazed with my me? Are you really proud of the things I do that no one else on earth ever notices?

Sipping my morning tea (see, Lord, I’m getting my antioxidants), I journal my thoughts or work on my oil painting or perhaps do some exercises. Whatever my heart desires, I spend time with me.

I get it, Lord! This is not a curse you have bestowed upon me but a beautiful gift. The gift of time for US. You knew I’d be busy so you built in time specifically for us. Okay, the world can go right on sleeping as I go on savoring my relationship with you and my relationship with me. Quality takes time they say and if I have to rise before the sun to invest in us, Lord, then so be it for I know that I will get an incredible return on my investment.

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