Family

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Can I be brutally honest with you? I have had “one of those days” today. You know, the kind that make you feel like you’re a bad person. Most days feel like a breeze. Little Katy and I do our exercises together, we eat, we nap, we play, we work, and do it all with hugs and giggles. Then, there was today. Crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, crying, CRYING C – R – Y – I – N – G !!! Katy is getting her eyeteeth, plus a stuffy nose. After about five hours of fussiness- I drove her to Isaac’s office-

“Ten minutes!” I blurted as I handed her to him our like a hot potato. Isaac took her and tried to figure out what was happening.

“Jut ten minutes! I need to be alone, NOW!” I was raising my voice.

“Sure, hon. Why don’t you go check your email or something,” Isaac calmly suggested.

“NO! No computers! No phones! No Televisions! No walls! I’m going out to go stare at trees!” I declared as I darted off for a walk down the street.

Not much of trees, I have to admit. Walking the streets of an industrial block only afforded me the wondrous sights of trailer trucks and an occasional stray dog. I knew Isaac had to leave for the airport in ten minutes (he was picking someone up), and those ten minutes were all the time I had.

“Ok. Cool off, calm down… Cool off, calm down… Cool off, calm down…” I kept repeating as I marched down the street. I was passing a large school administration building, probably looking like a mad lunatic. I didn’t care. I had ten minutes. I had to cool off in order to handle the situation.

Or, did I? My pace slowed as I wondered.

What happens if Im still frustrated and angry when I get back?

I understood that Katy was feeling bad, and that she was not trying to hurt or manipulate me. She was just crying out of pain and frustration. That’s all she knows to do. It’s not her fault. To Katy, mommy is the one with the solutions. She was just counting on me for help, like always.

I was nearing Isaac’s office and I was not cooled off yet. Suddenly, I realized that it wasn’t about how I felt. It was about the conclusions that I made. I couldn’t just give in to my emotions and throw a fit. Doing that would only hurt those whom I love the most. No. Instead, I would swallow my anger, I would swallow my frustration, I would swallow my tears and keep trucking on. Sooner or later, my emotions would change. I knew this. As for now, a man that needed his wife, and a baby that needed her mommy.

An hour later I was at the park with Katy. We were swinging together under the orange sunset sky of the evening. She was giggling and I was smiling. It felt good to know that I didn’t crack under the pressure. Even though it crossed my mind.

“Love is patient, love is kind…It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered…It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1st Corinthinans 13:4

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