Poetry

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Suicide Letter

I’ve lost it. I knew one day I would. It’s all over now. There’s nothing else to live for. Every time I try it becomes clearer that my life is of non affect. I can’t do this anymore. Of every hope and desire, I’ve now let go. There is no use. What good can I accomplish? There is nothing I can contribute to this world. So this is my letter of suicide. I appreciate all you’ve done to help. It was greatly appreciated; but not enough. I’ve done all I can do here. So I’m bowing out gracefully and laying down my life. Now I can truly live. With my Father I can truly give. He has taken my place and lives in my stead. Now my gift can be given as His best. Finally, my soul can truly rest.
In the quest of coming to the end of myself I find that there is truly nothing I can do on my own. Every feat I encounter, every giant I face; I see God is who He says He is. God is Holy. My God is the creator of all, all that is and all that was; all that will ever be, all things seen and unseen. Treasure after treasure He reveals. The spoils I once that thought I would take back from the enemy were treasures He uncovered on the inside of me. Self embedded by shame yet uncovered by God. There’s more to me that I once thought. For every step I take I realize there is a man walking with me. Walking in me. Waiting for me yet going before me. He’s here right now as I read. He is encompassing my soul to reveal my true nature. I’m not Holy enough but He calls me His own anyway. He calls me His Treasure, but how can this be, when the true Treasure the world sees is the Man inside of me.

- Elizabeth Oden
Clayton, NC

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