Christian Living

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Have you ever received a criticism from a tactless, obnoxious person? Believe it or not, some people can be so offensive that they are not even aware when they're already hurting another person. Usually, they are sources of strife, conflicts, and arguments wherever they find themselves in.

Maybe you are like that. People probably think you're too rude, impolite, and harsh. No matter what your good intentions may be, you'll still end up seeing people avoiding you or getting hurt. You know you're doing yourself a big favor if you stop embarrasing and shaming those around you with your offensive behavior.

Let me share with you a secret.

Next time you wish to criticize someone, be a smiling critic rather than a negative face! You do this by the "sandwich" approach. That is, you make your negative comment in between two positive remarks! Of course, when you do this, the rule is always to be sincere and honest.

For example, your best friend Maria is going on a date. But she's fat. She also wears dresses that only highlight her overweight. So, what will you say to help her and save her from an embarrasing date? Would you say to her she's fat and wearing the wrong dresses? That would hurt her ego.

Well, before you make any suggestions of change for Maria, you can first say something that you like about her. If she has a nice, soft skin, appreciate that. Comment on her flair for well groomed hair. Ask her where she bought her perfume and lipstick because that can certainly attract men to her like bees to honey!

Then, after starting with positive compliments, you're now ready to bring out your criticism! How about inserting in a nice and suave manner your point of view and advice. You can tell Maria something like this: "Since this is a date, Maria, I think your date will be more impressed if you would wear something like what we bought together last week in the boutique. You'd be more beautiful with that dress!"

Afterwards, make another encouraging remark, like: "Have a great time on your date, Maria! Your date will love you!" You think Maria will be offended by your implied criticisms? Not a chance. You've warmly criticized her in a nice, positive way!

People simply love positive, encouraging people. It's just human nature. And so after saying sincere, honest compliments, people would then be very glad to receive any suggestions or opinions from you.

Next time you wish to criticize anybody, remember to find something in the other person to praise first. It will leave a positive impression that you're helpful and friendly inspite of your criticism. Then after that, say what you have to say but in a smooth, unoffensive, smiling manner. Finalize with another positive encouragement after saying your criticism to establish a foundation of friendship.

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