Humor

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Throughout my life, I have had some very interesting childhood memories. Most are memories that I can now look back at and laugh at, and most involve my two brothers, Mark and David. I have grown to love my two brothers. Ever since they left for college, I realized how much I loved and missed them.

One of my earliest memories is of “Allison Blankie Transport.” Mark and David would have me sit in the middle of a blanket while they took hold of the four corners of the blanket. They would then proceed to run around the house, with me screaming the whole time. I couldn’t tell where I was. I always knew that the ride could end at any time. Allison Blankie Transport” always ended in the same fashion. With three swings and a countdown, I would be thrown onto my parents’ bed. I always screamed like I hated it, but in all actuality, that was my favorite part of the ride. Man, too bad I’m too big for that now. I loved those rides.

Another famous event is one I fondly call “The Bucking Bronco Incident.” I know what you’re thinking. With a name like that, this can’t end good. You would be correct, but at the age of 4, I did not understand the implications. “The Bucking Bronco Incident” started out as an innocent “game “ I played with David quite often. This night, however, David was, oh, shall I say, not coherent?? Anyhow, “Bucking Bronco” was when I would climb on David’s back and he would crawl around the house and try to buck me off. So, I was on David’s back and he was crawling around the house at full speed, which really wasn’t all that fast. We were approaching a wall. David didn’t see the wall until it was too late. Too late for me, at least. David was fine. My head flew back, then flew forward directly into the corner of a wall. Needless to say, it didn’t feel too good. I was screaming bloody murder. My parents took me to he hospital where I had to get a butterfly bandage put on the cut on my forehead. Having been enlightened by that experience, I never again played Bucking Bronco.

The final story I am going to share is “The (Nearly) Decapitated Baby Grow” story. When I was younger, all I wanted for Christmas one year was a new doll called “Baby Grow.” I usually did not play with dolls and I never played with Barbies, but this was different. This doll could grow. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. I figure the reason I liked Baby Grow is because that’s exactly what I wanted to do. Grow. One day, Mark and David were really getting on my nerves. They had been bothering me all day. Then they decided to take Baby Grow. I didn’t realize it at first. They told me to come downstairs. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, there were Mark and David. They were standing there with Baby Grow. And a saw. They then proceeded to pretend that they were going to saw Baby Grow’s head off. I started (pardon the expression) screaming and crying my head off. My mom came running to me and asked me what was wrong. It was all I could do to point downstairs and whimper “Mark and David are trying to kill Baby Grow!!” To me, this was no issue to be taken lightly. After all, Mark and David were trying to kill someone! To me, this was attempted murder and needed police involvement. They only police home was my mom. I don’t remember the punishment, but I remember thinking it was not nearly severe enough for the crime.

Now, as I look back at these incidents, I can only laugh. I guess the saying is true: “In a few years , you’ll look back on this and laugh.” Thanks, Mark and David, for the great memories.

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Author's Notes:
As mentioned in the summary, this was written while I was in high school, with a few minor changes. It is for entertainment purposes only and it not intended to be a polished piece of writing, or reflect my true writing ability. I do not subscribe to the personal message service, so please leave all comments here. Thanks.

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