Humor
Maw, are you awake?
The Background
Several years ago our daughter, son-in-law, and their children from Holden, Louisiana came by our Bassfield, Mississippi home on their way back home from a Church Association meeting in Seminary, Mississippi. The association lasted late into the afternoon and it was late when they arrived at our house. By the time we finished eating supper and visiting, it was near 12 midnight. Being the home bodies that they are they decided to drive on home and just sleep in late the next morning. It is about a two and a half hour drive from our house to Holden.
The Story Begins
About 2 a.m. the telephone rings and our son-in-laws voice is on the other end of the line.
"Maw, are you awake?"
Let me stop to say right here that nothing, I mean nothing, tends to wake me up faster than a telephone call in the wee hours of the morning.
"Yes, I'm awake!"
"Maw, are you good and awake?"
By this time I am good and awake and am standing on the other side of the bed next to my wife.
"Yes, I am good and awake! What's wrong?" Her voice begins to tremble. My knees start knocking together. My imagination starts to take over. Maybe they were in a wreck and the rest of the family got killed. Maybe they were robbed at some point along the way. You know all the thoughts that run through your head when the phone rings at that time of morning.
"Twinkie left me!" Twinkie is his pet name for her.
"She did what?" Her voice really begins to tremble at this point.
"She left me standing on the side of the Interstate."
By this time Doughboy had our full attention. Doughboy is Twinkie's pet name for her husband. It occurred to me that they may have had an argument of some sort and Twinkie simply told him to get out of the car and then drove off and left him standing there. I quickly erased that scenario from my mind because my daughter is a mild mannered young lady and would never do something like that. There must be another answer.
The Story Unfolds
When they left our house headed home Doughboy was driving. He had worked the night before and I could tell he was sleepy. They had just started south on Interstate 59 when he told Twinkie that he was sleepy and that she needed to drive. He pulled over on the shoulder of the road, got out of the car, went around to the other side of the vehicle. By this time Twinkie had moved over to the drivers side of the vehicle, buckled the seat belt, set the seat forward, and changed the mirror positions. In the meantime Doughboy took Ben from the back seat, put him in the front seat and buckled him in. At that moment in time the urge to take a "nature break" hit Doughboy. So as not to have the light from the car shining on his business, he reached over and closed the door. This is where the story really gets interesting. Twinkie, thinking Doughboy had gotten into the back seat, immediately took off, leaving him standing there with the faucet in his hand and a shocked look on his face. He later told me that when he saw the taillight of the vehicle disappear over the hill he knew that Twinkie wouldn't notice his absence from the back seat until she arrived in their driveway. He did the only thing a sensible person could do and that is start walking toward Holden. He had no flashlight, there was a new moon, and every armadillo in the state of Mississippi was running across the highway in front and back of him.
After walking several miles south on the Interstate he came to the town of Magnolia, MS. These small towns in MS fold the streets up at dust and very few businesses are open. He finally found a service station and a telephone with about twenty or so unruly looking characters hanging around apparently waiting to use the telephone. That is where he made the called to us. In the meantime, Twinkie arrives home and pulls into the driveway. Ben wakes up, peers back over the seat and says "where is daddy". Twinkie panics, spins the car around and shoots out of the driveway like a bolt of lightning headed to find her husband, but she didn't know where she had left him. She only knew that it was on the side of the Interstate somewhere south of McComb, MS. She finally gets in touch with the local volunteer fire station where the dispatcher then gets in touch with the Parish Sheriff's office. The Sheriff's office thinks that maybe there was a family fight and for a while didn't believe my daughter's story.
After checking with the local Sheriff's office at Magnolia, MS they finally found Doughboy waiting at the service station. The Sheriff's patrol from MS transported him to the MS-LA line where the Sheriff's department from LA transported him back home.
All was well at the Doughboy and Twinkie resident after a few "I'm sorry", "forgive me", hugs and kisses, etc. A good laugh was had by all including the Sheriff's office after they learned that Doughboy was a Baton Rouge Police Officer.
As is the case in most rural areas of MS a story like this spreads fast, especially if the people involved are known. Occasionally I still meet up with a complete stranger in the mall at Hattiesburg, get to talking, introduce myself. That's when they start laughing and say, "so that was you're son-in-law".
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I got a good laugh from this. It was interesting as you named off the different towns, as I'm from Mississippi too and know where they are. Thomas
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