Grief

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“We’re going up, to the high places, we’re going up, to the high places”, I sing along with the choir in church this morning and my mind is focused on Jesus, the creator of all things. I wonder about the mysteries in store for us when we make it Home. I find myself very impatient and homesick and I ask the Lord, “How long is it going to be before I can come and be with You?”

My mind is usually not so focused on Heaven as it is today, but the events that have occurred this week have my spirit stirred in a way that I have not felt since the salvation of my soul. I have witnessed extreme grief mixed with the ecstasy that came only come from the Holy Spirit. When I think of the supreme mercy shown by the Father to members of my family I almost stagger as a drunken man. I have to wipe the tears from my eyes as I resist the urge to climb to the rooftops and shout, “Jesus is Lord!”

My cousin and I never really had that close of a relationship, but we have always been friendly at family get-togethers, etc. He was around 10 years older than me so we never really had that much in common. As I got older I to know him a little better on some deep-sea fishing trips that some of us men in the family would take time to time. I actually began to work at the same company that he did, so there was some more interaction.

I always had slightly envied him for he had worked hard and had achieved some of the things in life that I would like to have someday, such as a boat, house on the lake, etc. His wife, had also achieved success in becoming a Principal for a larger county school. It seemed to me that they had it all. But the one thing lacking in their lives was a knowledge of Jesus. He had grew up in a Christian family but somehow had never made a personal commitment.

On Wednesday, my mother called me and told me that my cousin was dying in a hospital at thirty-nine years of age. The doctors were not sure what it was that was killing him as he had always been perfectly healthy. But apparently he had been ill for the last two weeks, then the illness cumulating into his body shutting down. All I know is that it had something to do with his liver.

But God in His grace had called my cousin to Him just prior before he got sick. He was calm as he asked to talk with friends and family. I did not go to the hospital for my own reasons, but the tale about my cousin’s dying was told to me by my father the next day.

My cousin had called in his immediate family and asked that they would pray with him. After a short time he cut them off with a “That’s enough!” Then he asked them “Do you seen those people at the foot of the bed?” Then he began to smile. “I see water, and people coming to get me. I am going to go fishing.” Then inhaling sharply, his eyes widened and he said “ I see Jesus!” Then smiling, he closed his eyes and left his body there on the hospital bed.

I have to praise the Lord for his mercy to my aunt and uncle. Jesus had given them the peace to know beyond a doubt that they would see their son again. And I envy in some small way my cousin, fishing in heaven. With all he had achieved in his short time on earth, his last two weeks were his most important. Members of the family are already spreading the tale and people are being affected. Everyone wants to know what happens when they die. I have been given a little clearer picture of what is to come. I know I will be there one day, but all I can do now is worship the Lord while I look through that smoky glass and know that He is real. I will live forever in Him.

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