Return to Content
Read Our Devotional
Opportunities to be Published
The Home for Christian Writers! Matthew 6:33
ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING
Add to Favorites
Author requests article critique
Mini Challenge - Cliff
This account translated for the records of global destiny. So goes the record:
Fifteen Manchmen surrounded Eric as he stood with his back to the Kilon Ciff. Only two Manch moons earlier he had tried to negotiate his fate, even promising to marry a Manch woman, one with whom he had no knowledge, only that her protruding horns had pointed his direction when his ship’s computer misread its destination and landed on a Manch district rather than connecting with the nearby friendly asteroid X9.
“Your words are but blue fodder in sky, blessed only by a fictions spheroid occupying your blatant empty mind.” Manchmen cluttered their language with putrid adjectives, an act said to derive from the Boild Wars – years of words rather than swords. Manchman were blinded by poor vision, Boild's own men - ill from galatic dysentery for 20 Arlon years. Hence the war continued.
Little did Eric realize but the woman he had absently (and blindly) proposed to was the daughter of the high priestess of Manch - a vestal virgin (the priestess, not the daughter).
He turned to look at the depth of the cliff. His blink almost betrayed him; the bottom was less than a cubit away. The near sightedness of the Manchman had transformed reality to errant perception. Obviously, no Manchman had dared to scale the cliff much less look over the edge.
“Adieu sweet love,” he cried; then jumped, ducking his head so to be covered by Kilon mud.
To be continued…(maybe).
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW
LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Reader Count & Comments
04 Apr 2006
very interesting Dub -but one question.....
"the daughter of the high priestess of Manch - a vestal virgin (the priestess, not the daughter)."
How could the priestess be a vestal virgin and the mother of the daughter? LOL ( can you tell I've not had enough sleep lately?)
29 Mar 2006
Blue fodder in the sky ... I like that. You have a great command of language and you weave together a tale that leaves us wanting more ..... :)
29 Mar 2006
Aww...what a cliffhanger! Ah well. It was a good story, nonetheless!
28 Mar 2006
Duuuuuub! I was hoping for a continuation of your western. I want to know what happens to the kids and their new dad!
But this will have to do I guess. Christian Sci-fi is not my favorite - but it
pretty good. Now we have to know how he gets out of this messy, muddy situation! :)
28 Mar 2006
Hey now! I didn't know "to be continued's" were allowed! I liked this nonetheless! Good to see you joinin' in on the fun!
28 Mar 2006
Awwww to be young and better sighted... Great touch Dub...
This article has been read
Read more articles by
or search for other articles by topic below.
Search for articles on: (e.g. creation; holiness etc.)
Read more by clicking on a link:
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review
NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL
God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You
...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19
Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38
LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
FaithWriters offers Christian reading material for Christian readers. We offer Christian articles, Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, Christian Bible studies, Christian poems, Christian articles for sale, free use Christian articles, Christian living articles, New Covenant Christian Bible Studies, Christian magazine articles and new Christian articles. We write for Jesus about God, the Bible, salvation, prayer and the word of God.
Link To Us
Become A Member