Marriage

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Yesterday was my fifteenth wedding anniversary. As such, it quite compelled me to reflect on the most important person in my life, after the Lord Jesus. I found myself considering the beauty of my wife’s character and essence, the marvel of her having chosen to spend her life with me, and the wonder of a life so intricately wound with hers that I cannot imagine one without her.

Chocolates are often presented to my beloved on this day. So have a few feeble attempts to wax eloquently in verse as I attempted to share my love for her and my thankfulness to God for His having put her in my life. And of course flowers of various kinds have frequently made appearances in our home, not to mention the numerous odds and ends that have somehow seemed appropriate as anniversary gifts in times past. But of all of these, the most meaningful is the rose.

No rose is truly beautiful apart from the joining together and blending of each of its delicate petals, each velvet membrane resting against, yet supporting each of the others: together they exude a rich and lovely fragrance that lifts the heart and freshens the spirit.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12 NIV).

Each virtue that flows from her life is like a beautifully sculpted petal from which a heavenly aroma flows. One petal is patience… sufficient to give her a fortitude that never allows her to throw in the towel, but to keep running the race of life with determination. Another is tenderness, certainly at work in the rearing and teaching of our children, but is also visible in the support and encouragement of others in her life whether friends, family, or even strangers. Yet another petal is hope. She has so often spoken or written affirmations and encouragements to others that one might wonder how can she give so much away and yet keep so much within herself. But my wife has learned the secret of abiding in God, so hope remains ever kindled within her, spilling out into the lives of others.

Still another petal is a willingness to walk with me through life in partnership. Together we have learned that happiness does not lie in having our own way, but in allowing our ambitions and dreams, as well as our talents and abilities, to blend with those of the other. By ourselves, our plans and accomplishments may have great merit and value, but with these joined together, they become richer and deeper and inestimably more significant in blessing and enriching the life of the other. And even as she continually seeks to support and honor God’s activity through me, I also love and cherish the miracle of who she is and what she gives of herself to others as she too seeks to serve God daily.

Such petals sometimes take the form of tears as her tender heart grieves over the hurts of others. Sometimes the petals are in her smile as the secret joy of God’s love bubbles to overflowing in her heart. At other times those rose petals are in the tough things that must be said because her resolve to honor God and her courage have been stirred up within her.

As I look at my wife, my eyes clearly perceive the beauty with which God has filled her lovely face, from the purity and reverence that she has for the eternal, to her quiet gentleness and firm courage even when confronted with adversity and hate (1 Peter 3:2,4,6). Not only does her grace and patience humble me, her noble heart gives mine strength when my own spirit feels crushed and downtrodden.

To wives (or “about-to-be wives”) I encourage you to know that God has created you and appointed you with a dignity that is unique to you. You have no replacement in all the wide and wonderful universe: there are some things that only you can be, do, and give. Without your being, doing, and giving these things, the world cannot be complete.

To each husband (or “about-to-be husband”) who may be reading this, I admonish you to cherish every petal that, when joined together, makes up your wife. Although your mind may only see a thorn or two, choose instead to inhale the unique and wonderful qualities that God has created within her and is even now trying to use to bless you. Some of the things you perhaps thought were thorns will turn out, in the end, to have been petals all along. You just needed spiritual eyes with which to see them.

“A wife of noble character… speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:26-30 NIV).

Copyright © Thom Mollohan.

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