Encouragement
When everything turns out wrong and nothing seems correct
I’ll Bless You
When it rains heavily and I find no shelter
I’ll Bless You
When the things don’t seem to work my way
I’ll Bless You
When my heart cries and face puts on a smile
I’ll Bless You
When there is so much to say and no one to hear
I’ll Still Bless You
When the sun is on top of head and no tree to shade
I’ll Bless You
When everyone departs and no one is near
I’ll Bless You
When tears roll down my cheek and no one wipes
I’ll Bless You
When I try hard to win and still lose everything
I’ll Bless You
For You, O Lord, have loved me alone when all were gone
Forevermore I’ll Bless You
Only,
Joy
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*OK!: It’s said that a song is simply poetry set to music and I commend you, this poem has a structure to it that simply yells to be put to music; and in fact I did as I read! This call and response style was wonderfully performed and to a proper length, in my view, so as not to cheapen the distressed, down and out mood of the poet.
**What pleasant symmetry this poem has as well. Four lines of “I’ll Bless You”, then a division: “I’ll Still Bless You”; another four lines of “I’ll Bless You”, then a concluding couplet ending in the same phrase. This piece has a brevity and compactness like that of a Shakespearian or Petrarchan Sonnet. I might encourage you to familiarize yourself with this kind of poetry and deviate from it creating a style of your own--you certainly have the skill.
*Oh no!: Readability the smallest of matters, yet still the most prevailing. I’m certain (though I can’t be entirely sure when it comes to poetry) that you meant for a correct English understanding in these lines: “When the things don’t seem to work my way,” and “When the sun is on top of head and no tree to shade”. Please revise.
**While I am impressed with this poem intellectually, spiritually I am most bland; as was the case concerning “Cast Your Burden onto Jesus”, this poem seems too easy. You’ve expressed yourself concerning a believer’s struggle to bless God during the tough times but in a very cliché, non-personal manner—too easy.
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‘When that page draws first blood and my first impulse is to cruse, I’ll Bless You.’ ‘On that dreary day I watched Auntie Ella die in her sins, I’ll Bless You.’
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Do you see the difference? While the audience may not be personally experiencing the scenes you describe they will empathize and all the more be sensitive to that stark contrast conveyed: “I WILL BLESS YOU!” That said, you might try building up to this main idea by beginning with cliché and climaxing with personal lines, otherwise it’s a nice song.
__Thank you for writing this piece, I do enjoy my time examining your creativity given from on high. Keep writing songs for the Lord, making them ever more authentic by mixing pieces of your life experience in them. Come comment on my works sometime, I could use the support, but even if you don’t I’ll still Bless God.
vow to bless him. Thank you
God Bless you.