Marriage

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Two Drivers, One Wheel
By Dan Blankenship



One of the most purposely ignored verses from the Bible, at least in today’s churches, is Ephesians 5:22, which says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord” (NIV). Now, of course, there are verses before and after this one that clarify Paul’s instruction. The verse just before this one calls on all believers to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21 NIV). The verse after explains that “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” (Ephesians 5:23 NIV)

Paul’s instruction does not sound so extreme when it is put into context. If a man is following God’s instruction manual (the Holy Bible), he can be considered well-equipped to assume the role of head of the household – a position that requires tireless commitment, more humility than can be measured, and extreme patience and understanding.

If a man is called to lead his home in the way Christ leads the church, than he has some very big shoes to fill. His Christ-believing wife should have a clear understanding of how difficult the task at hand is. Sad to say, in many households this is simply not the case. We all know husbands and wives who battle for the leadership role in their home. They are like a couple driving down a busy highway with each one trying to steer the car to a different lane or exit. It just doesn’t work.

Now, I am not advocating that a family exist under the holy calling of a dictatorship. I am however suggesting that it is fairly obvious that two individuals fighting to steer a vehicle in two different directions are destined to crash.

Let’s take that scenario (comparison) a bit further. Picture a man and his wife traveling down a long stretch of highway, not another vehicle in sight. The husband has fully prepared for the trip, charting all the roadways, exits, and destinations. The car has had its routine maintenance and the gas tank is full. The man’s wife sits beside her husband in full confidence that all is well. She knows her husband has prepared well for the trip, educating himself on the different courses available and which ones are the safest to travel. The wife reads a magazine as the car continues along the picturesque western sunset.

This wife finds no need to doubt her husband’s capability as they continue on their trip. She is confident her spouse has her safety in mind, and she believes his actions are led by intelligence and good intentions. At no point does the woman see any reason to grab the steering wheel and change course, for the husband is driving to the exact same location the wife would drive if she were steering the wheel.

And that is Paul’s message to the followers of Christ. We should all be headed down the same narrow path, a path that has enough room for a husband/father to lead while his wife and his children follow. If they all keep their eyes on the Savior at the end of that path, there will be little need to bicker over who was chosen to lead the way.

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