Humor

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We will be taking the kids to the island of Cozumel in three months. They have every single penny counted in their savings account and are quite disappointed that we will not let them drain every cent to spend on the trip. But they've been working hard to earn extra spending money and we have been working hard to match whatever they save. I sometimes wished that I had NEVER promised a 401K savings plan with my children. Little did I know the monsters I have created after promising to match their savings. Ha! Ha! They have had just about every small money making opportunity this summer. I call these "small" money making opportunities because my small ones come up with them and because their attention spans are so short that the opportunities don't last so long. Hence, the word "small". My son Chaz and his best friend Josh decided to start a lawn service. They put out flyers without my proofreading it first. I don't know how many sheets of paper and ink cartridges they went through as they "perfected" their ads. They made about $70.00 off of that short-but-profitable business. ( I must have spent that much on replenishing our computer supplies!) They raked leaves, picked up trash, hauled sticks, etc. But then it was on to some other adventure since their young minds can only stick with a project for so long before boredom or another enlightening idea pops into their heads.

Then it was on to the lawn MOWING service. Josh's parents have the John Deere tractor version of a lawnmower. This thing could be for commercial use on a huge farm! I still don't understand why anyone with .50 acre would purchase such a large piece of farm equipment. I mean, I'm here kicking my lawnmower of ten years (NO JOKE, FOLKS!) just to get it to show me some sign of life. Oh well, to each his own. Needless to say, when they showed up at people's houses with the John Deere, the four-wheeler, Josh's motorcycle, three commercial weedeaters, and a dune buggy, I think the neighbors are "a little" overwhelmed by the sight of it all. I mean, most people just want their lawns mowed, not bulldozed and dug up for a swimming pool! So onward to the next small business plan (and NO! it doesn't involve a Santa hat, a red bucket, and bell...Bill mentioned this one)..........

This time it is the (everyone's "been there and done that" on this one)
lemonade stand. This one is rather modified to match their manliness. No cutsie little stand and chairs and such. Oh no! This is a manly man's lemonade stand. There I was sitting at the computer looking out of my beautiful window and noticing how life is good here in Hunter's Glen when all of a sudden...I hear this NOISE. This undescribable NOISE. So loud and yet so unrecognizable! It was a noise with an echo noise like a skateboarder and yet maybe his twin skateboarding with him but completely in sync. Then there was this rattle. What was this NOISE? Suddenly, flying...ummm...I mean, skateboarding by my window is Josh sitting on top of a cooler which was sitting on top of his skateboard. Then comes by son skateboarding with the speed and grace of lightning (lightning zigzags, remember) with a platter and a sack held over his head. I wondered what they were up to NOW? Then they came to a sudden halt at the entrance of our subdivision. They parked themselves right in front of le grande fountaine and as I watched in amazement, I think that would be the word for it. They whipped out a "Lemonade Only 50 cents" sign. The words were so tiny that I, being of sound mind and mother of this child, could only know what the sign said. (Of course, I had to get involved and "build" this billboard that only an engineer could conjure up). Well, they spent two days with their lemonade "stand". Josh sitting atop the cooler which was atop the skateboard. Chaz, handling the cups and whatnot's. They had snacks and a variety of drinks and sodas. (Hmmmm...I wonder why my pantry was getting a little bare for when Old Mother Hubbard here went inside her cupboard, the poor dog ended up with none). They must have made about $75.00 each day. So by the time I replenished my pantry and paid for gas to take them to the mall, I think I came out about $20.00 short. Oh, but one other tiny, small, tidbit of a detail. We have a very, well, let's just say "not so nice" neighbor. He is very retentive about everything from every single blade in his lawn (I think he knows them by name) to his trying to sell the perfectly well-groomed home for $30,000.00 over the appraised value. He has two children and I don't think I've ever seen them play let alone BREATHE. Here were two boys selling lemonade right in front of his house displaying a beautiful picture of a lovely, family-oriented neighborhood where children can enjoy the pleasure of youth in running a lemonade stand (now how's that for real estate sales?) Hasn't every single child run a lemonade stand at least once? But NO! Mr. "I am Perfect and My House is the White House and You Guys are the Ghetto" CALLS THE POLICE ON THE KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!! The police showed up to find two young boys selling lemonade, laughed, and told them to carry on. Mr."I'm Perfect and You're Not" asked if they had to have a building permit, business code of conduct, ISN number, or some sort of petition or something or they would be incarcerated for life. The officer laughed and left. So Mr. "I Hate Children but Have Two of My Own" took it to the President and Vice President of the Homeowner's Association and they just couldn't stop laughing until they realized that he was dead serious. With muffled laughter, they managed to squeeze in some words that might be translated to something such as, "They're (ha!ha!heehe!) selling lemon...(ha!he!ho!) ade and (haofhaohahahahah!) you turned them...(heheheheh!) in?" Mr."I Am Everything, Losers, and You are Nothing" left with the determination that he will take this to the Court of Appeals.

Then the girls decided to OUTDO the boys. They came up with the idea of selling ice cream in 105 degree weather out on the corner of Mr. "Get Out of My Face I Can't Stand Children but Have Two of My Own's" yard. He decided to organize a strike against kids being kids. For two weeks, my freezers were full of ice cream galore. Candy and her best friend Jessica would take my bike with the double child carrier. Strapped inside was Lauren and next to her, quite securely seatbelted in was a cooler of ice cream. It was the ice cream caravan as Candy hauled this trailer of child and cooler and Jessica following along on her bike. They took their business on the road from neighborhood to neighborhood competing with the icecream man minus the music and bell. They would have made more money but Chaz and Josh ate up all the profits.

In comes the GARAGE SALE. JUNK, JUNK, AND MORE JUNK!!! No planning, no advertising, no organizing, and no pricing. Just throw it out there and they will come. Chaz and Josh dumped whatever junk they could find out on my front lawn and waited....and waited....and waited....The hot sun melted our Hot Wheels cars (that gives new meaning to "Hot" Wheels), my leather shoes baked to a crisp, and we had doughnut soup as the snacks they were selling oozed into a liquified stew. After eight hours in the beating sun, they made $80.00. Off to the mall we went AGAIN...$60.00 for skateboard deck, $6.00 for pizza, $5.00 for candy, $2.00 for a drink, and the rest for saving. However, the deck needed grip tape and the grip tape needed an Exacto knife, and the Exacto knife blade broke so it needed a new blade, and the gas to get to it all......hmmmmm...


I don't know what the next small business plan is but I'm sure of a couple of things, that as long as my kids are doing these small money-making businesses, I will continually be broke and they will continually be learning some great skills and gaining memories of a lifetime! Aaahhhh! Life is gooooooooood!

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