Illness

---

It is here upon me. I know not if I write with sense, but write I must.
It is dark, and I have descended into a black hole.
No light around me, I rest my head down upon my hands even here at the computer, rising again, I type

Defying, for how long I know not
Its beating down upon my flesh, compelling me to turn on self,
To ball body into a tight ball, or lie on back stretched out,
But most recently I just lie and hold the Bible until it passes

Waiting and waiting for I don’t know what, for relief,
No, for I don’t expect it, I raise my hope not
I think at these times I wait, I have learned to surrender, not to
Battle it, to let it be, to let it reign and run havoc in my brain
The nausea so profound, that I am forced to squeeze my eyes
Tight and tight, what is the connection between the shaking of my head
Side to side and the squeezing of my eyes tight with the nausea, I don’t know
Maybe I believe that I can squeeze the madness out, suffocate it out through
My shut eyes, and shake it away from my face as it exits my head

My stomach aches, I drink Sleepy Time tea, why do I crave Sleepy Time tea?
Am I seeking solace, calming, sleep or is this my silent rebellion,
Telling madness that though it reigns I shall drown it in the warmth of succor
Sipping and letting it flow down my throat

Throat opens and welcomes warm liquid, it does not resist
It seeks to help me yet not feeling sorry for me
Pity it does not lend, for it too must endure with me,
Knowing how it too is afflicted with the parched and
Constricted pathway of air, yet it opens up for
The flow of the tea, for we share the burden of the insanity
Conspiring without conspiracy to endure the affliction on us

I shall take my leave now, I can’t continue to write,
It battles me now to stillness, seeking only to sit quiet
It robs me even of my ability to express all that it is
This the plan of it you see for were I permitted to
Disclose the fullness of it’s personality
The battle mine, and it’s potency diminished, power limited
But that time not mine yet

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE