Christian Living

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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday January 23, 2006

Serving someone to earn their love is an exercise in absurdity. Service must be given for a love that already exists. If this kind of love is not the motivating power behind any service, then said service is given for gain of some kind and in many cases manipulation would be a more appropriate word. If you stop and think about it a lot of the activity that goes on in the name of 'serving Jesus' is little more than attempts to manipulate the Lord into doing something for us. This is a shame for His love for us is on the record and burned into His own body with the scars of Calvary.

I talked with a man who says his wife doesn’t love him and never did. I asked, why did you marry? He mumbled, 'Had to.' Ah, one sin often leads to a more serious one. The poor soul went on to list all the things he had done for her to prove his love. He really went all out, making sure she had shoes in the winter, used birth control, spent at least one Saturday night a month with her and even fed the dogs. Now there is a real man, brother.

I have known and know some men and women who actually do give it their best shot and still all they have is a certificate and a mess, totally, abysmally lacking anything resembling love.

In her memoir, "What We Do For Love" Ilene Beckerman wrote:

"If you have to stand on your head to make somebody happy, all you can expect is a big headache."

The line is from Ilene's grandmother and in my opinion the world needs more grandmotherly advice along this line.

Martha is a case in point of a person who has the 'need' to serve. She was busy serving for a wrong reason and missing the joy of Christ in person. Some people are so busy in church work that if Jesus was walking beside them about all they would think of doing would be take a Tums for heartburn.

Some of the saddest words I have heard over many years are the ones uttered in severe disappointment due to the failure of a relationship whether it be a marriage or a sort of friendship.

If someone you are in a love relationship with, spouse, parent/child brother/sister and feelings go South do you say, "How can he/she do this to me, after all I have done for?"

You should know at that point that your service has not been given in love, but in the hope of getting or maintaining a form of love.

Ilene's grandmother had it right, "If you have to stand on your head to make somebody happy, all you can expect is a headache."

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2006 Use with credit.

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