Grief

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Dear Ashley

You don't know me, but I read about you last month. I'm sorry I never knew you. If I had, I would have been there for you. I'm a mom and we would have had a lot of fun together. I read about how much you liked "Casper" and dressed as him for Halloween. My little girl and I like friendly ghosts too. Last year we made 100 soft little ghosts for trick or treaters. You could have painted their eyes and put their hats on them too.

I am getting ready for Christmas and I think of you in everything I do. We could have sang carols, visited Santa, wrapped gifts, and decorated a tree. But even better yet, I would have been waiting for you after school as you came in the unlocked door of home. And you wouldn't have been too hot or too cold. Most of all, there would have been no beatings.

As you grew, the community could have seen all your unique talents and gifts. But no one was there to share a life of love and joy with you. No one gave you what you needed and no one saw what you had to offer.

Just recently I visited your gravesite and I thanked God your spirit didn't remain in the cold earth. I was angry every time I heard the loud roar of a tractor trailer go by on I80. They don't belong near cemeteries. I brought some flowers and an angel to watch over your gravesite and keep it sacred. I didn't want to leave. I felt as though someone should have stayed throughout the night. Your suffering and nightmare is finally over, but so is your life here with us

Just think Ashley, you are about to have a Christmas with no fear and pain. Christmas in heaven is better than the best one on earth. You'll get to sing with the heavenly choir and you'll get the best gifts: wings and a halo! Sadly, we know you most assuredly earned those wings. I hope you will fly down and make a snow angel for me this winter. Your life will be perfect in every way. You will have constant peace, joy, and love. No one will ever hurt you again. And Ashley, there will be lots of fun for you to share with the angels. Now you can sleep on clouds and swing on stars! Did you know you will finally get to meet Jesus?

Sweet Angel Ashley, while there will never be any justification for your torment and fatal abuse, I pray that the mention of Ashley Crafton will cause all hearts to break to the point of a conviction to never allow even one more child to be tortured again. Ashley Crafton, we have failed you in the worst possible way. May God have mercy on all our souls. We have far to go in becoming a society that reaches out in love, concern, and action through intervention.

Until we meet again, Merry Christmas Ashley Crafton.

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