Marriage

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Eggshell Love
Shared by Patricia Backora, author of the book
Tough Love in Christ's Millennium
Which you can order online from: http://www.publishamerica.com
Malachi 2:11-16; Matthew 19: 3-10; 22:35-40; 24:12; Romans 13:10; I Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6; Hebrews 13:4

Unbelievers’ disdain for the Word of God is evident by the way they live. Where it concerns marriage, if they marry at all, they tend to “try before they buy”, and the spouse, especially the woman, who gets rejected after being “tried out” feels depressed, bruised and used after the sordid affair.

Now, all too many church-going believers “buy before they try”, thinking God's grace is so cheap that they can call casual divorce and remarriage a “grey zone” instead of a hard-and-fast sin against His Love.

In fact, any “love” in such a relationship is as fragile as an eggshell, not the rock-solid love God has toward His people. While each Christian partner confidently expects God to bear patiently with his or her own imperfections, those who are not walking in the Spirit tend to be so selfish they withhold that same compassion from one another. Unless a spiritual bond is first forged with Christ as its center, each spouse knows deep inside that in spite of the thoughtfully written, beautiful-sounding vows exchanged at the altar, they are merely on lifelong probation with each other. Where the option of an easy out exists, there is no real commitment to forging an enduring family bond with one another. A carnal marriage covenant is, rather, a conditional contract. Both know they are living under the dark shadow of divorce, which rears its ugly head when one or both partners decide they aren’t getting what they want from the other.

Even Jesus' disciples asked Him whether it was lawful to divorce a wife for just any reason at all. His reply shocked those men who were devoid of compassion. Jesus told them in no uncertain terms that God’s original intent was one woman for one man. Moses only permitted writs of divorce to be issued to unwanted wives because those pitiable women needed legal protection to enable them to get on with their lives. That society was imperfect. Israel, like other societies, was full of selfish, hard-hearted men who were utterly dead to the higher Law of God's Love.

The foundation of the Mosaic Law was this: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength, and your neighbor as yourself. Love does no harm to its neighbor. Love fulfills the Law.

Jesus' disciples got in a dither when He told them that adultery can be committed even against women, who were considered second-class citizens in ancient times. Indeed, the altar of the Lord was covered with the tears of forsaken wives and families. So much so that God's offended altar could not receive offerings from the hands of evil men who despised God's forsaken daughters who appealed to Him for help. Those hardhearted, sorry excuses for husbands were quick to forget that God had daughters in His Family of Faith as well as sons, and they were no less precious in His sight. Back then it was even debated whether a woman possessed a soul. Men who took pride in their masculinity often uttered a ritual prayer thanking God that He had not created them as a heathen, a beast, or a woman.

The same exhortation to faithfulness applies to women who are tempted to stray from their husbands in order to pair up with someone more exciting. A believer treads on dangerous water when he or she does not value their marriage partner, and such a backslider ruins his or her own testimony before the world. When an unfaithful Christian partner sins in that manner, great hurt is perpetrated against one of God's dear children. The offender touches the apple of God's eye and will by no means be accounted as innocent in His sight.

There have been many cases of casual betrayal and remarriage among so-called pastors who ought to set an example for their flocks. And there is always a way to rationalize such a sin.

She is old and tired-looking, such a sinner thinks. Or, She does not cut so svelte a figure anymore after having the kids. She was a real cutie when I first married her, but now she looks shopworn. She has put on weight. She just doesn’t have the sparkling wit of that other woman in our church. I need that other woman to polish my image, to “serve God” as a more suitable complement for my ministry. After all, how can I move up in prestigious Christian circles if my wife doesn’t LOOK the part of glamor and prosperity? If I don’t seem to have the product, how can I peddle it to a lost person sitting out there in the pew?

Now here's the devil's biggest lie: No sweat, God will forgive me as usual. There will be pain but it will pass. How can I sell Jesus to the people if they associate Him with a dowdy frump? Oh, I know a few fanatics in the church will threaten to leave, but let’s face it. They don’t contribute much to begin with, so who needs them anyway?

Such a slick charlatan is out to preach his own gospel of deliverance. Deliverance from responsibility and from the way of the Cross, which compels a Christian to put someone else's welfare first; a love which is willing to lay down its life and deny itself in response to God's call to holy living. Satan tries to get carnal churchgoers to forsake the way of the Cross as being too hard and demanding. He lies to pulpit Christians and pew Christians alike by telling them their greatest need is to be liberated from their lacklustre, unglamorous, second-class, humdrum, cosmetically-challenged circumstances. Who is a more effective mascot for a carnal minister's flashy ministry than a sweet young babe who smiles like an angel?

It infuriates the Lord to behold such flagrant abuses of His grace. His blessing does NOT rest upon such illicit bed-hopping! Shall God's people do evil, supposing that something "good" may come of it?

Forgiveness is always possible for the truly repentant soul, but God's chastisement inevitably follows such grave transgressions. Time and time again the apostle Paul preached against sexual immorality in his epistles, seemingly more so than any other particular type of sin. David very nearly forfeited his own soul and hope of eternal life because of his adultery with Bathsheba, and his murder of her husband Uriah. At first the taste of sin is sweet, but the cost is always bitter.

Part of the penalty an adulterous minister pays is that the very image he is so eager to embellish and safeguard is tarnished. The presumptuous transgressor is broken upon the Rock of broken law. Unless repentance is very deep and sincere, he is certain to become a reproach among the truly spiritual ones of the congregation, and a laughingstock to the sinners he is striving to convert to Christ. All his subsequent efforts to warn others of sin will fall on deaf ears, because his own life denies that God is to be feared. As for being image-conscious, such a backslider seeks not to perfect the image of the Redeemer in his life, but to conform instead to the evil world spirit all around him; that same cultural contamination which has crept into lukewarm, liberal congregations.

When you stand at the altar and promise to love one another, pray for the grace to love with the Love of the Lord Jesus and to see one another through His eyes of mercy. Remember that when you marry, you are accepting not just a lover, but a new family member to love just as surely as you would love your own child or your own parent. And while there might be times you would be angry with your child or your parent, it would never occur to you to cast them out of your life. Why should it be any different with your marriage partner?

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[email protected] http://www.kingdomageministry.com

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