Marriage

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FOR HE KNOWS THE PLANS HE HAS SET FOR US!!

As I see Christians leaving their marriages, my heart aches for families of today. Our desires and our must haves are such that both parents feel the need to seek employment outside of the home. How does one enjoy each day that God has so graciously given when away from home for eight to twelve hours daily, five to six days each week. Let me introduce myself, my name is Wendy, I am a mother of three beautiful boys and my marriage has reached the twenty year mark. As a domestic goddess, (a very fancy term for a stay at home mom), a woman who has tried to maintain a small home business, wife of a shift worker, taxi driver and social planner for 4, I found myself overwhelmed with life’s stresses, but I thought my time to soar with my business was just around the corner. The plan was that when my second son was in school full-time, I would work on building my business. The ideas were flooding my brain as to how I could enhance my business, I was so excited about the future. It was all going to work out perfectly. God however had another plan in mind for our family. God gave us another son who is now four years old. My husband and I did not waver on our decision as to my being home full time as long as we have small children at home. For quite some time I felt my life was over, for you see I had no desire to have more children. Depression set in, I gave up, there would never be any hope for me to have a life of my own.


OH RIGHT, GOD IS IN CONTROL

The feeling of devastation and defeat lead me to finally say to God, “ok Lord, you want me to be a stay at home mom, I’ll stay at home, just give me the desire to excel at raising my children and teaching them about YOU”. Life since then has been pretty amazing. I decided to live each day to glorify God. God has resurfaced my love for writing. If it weren’t for my third son, I wouldn’t have co-created an interactive workshop for women, I would not be sharing my marital triumps and trials with other couples and I would not have an article in this magazine. In my wildest dreams, life would not be this fulfilling.
Hebrews 12(1) ...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

What I wish to share with you is the journey God has taken me on and the practical strategies that have allowed my marriage to become an awesome relationship with my husband.


THE PRACTICAL

1. To begin to communicate with one another again, take 15 minutes once a week when you and our spouse can sit without any interruptions. Do not talk about the bills or the kids. Talk about your days, your goals, your dreams and maybe even the good old days. Money and the children are off bounds . Before you know it, you will be talking to your spouse for one hour, then two, eventually you’ll want to touch base with one another every evening. Can you imagine!!

2. Stop taking your spouse for granite. He or she will not always be by your side. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Cut your spouse some slack, just as you would a good friend. Before you blow up at your spouse, think to yourself, how would I react to Sally if she said or did this very same thing to me. Then react in that manner to your spouse. It truly changes the outcome.

3. Put God first in your life, your husband second and your children next. Set a Godly example for you children as to what a marriage is meant to be. We do pray for happiness for them, don’t we? Their life can be full turmoil in an unhappy marriage or we can lead by example and show them that everyday we need to appreciate the one God has given us.


KNOW YOUR CREATOR

1. Know that the God who created this world and everything in it can fix your marriage with the spouse He has provided you with. Isaiah 40(31) - those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar like wings on eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

2. Discover your God given gifts and use them. Allow your spouse to do the same. Eph 5(15-17) - Be very careful then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most out of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lords will is. I am sure that your dreams have changed since you first married, do you know one anothers dreams? This is an exciting topic to talk about once you start sitting down together for your uninterrupted discussions.

3. Focus on God and pleasing Him, the rest will follow. My mother-in-law has a really neat saying, “Do your best and God will do the rest”.

4. Look to God for your pat on the back, Only God will not disappoint you. Our husbands, our friends and our family let us down periodically, often without even knowing it, but God will never forget to encourage you or remind you that you are loved.

5. Let God be the head of your household.
1Corinthians 11(3) Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

6. Know that in this world we will have trouble.
John 16(33) I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace, In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

God did not say we would not have trouble in this world, as a matter of fact, it is quite the opposite. However, if we look to God in every circumstance, good will come. We may not see it but just trust that God is in control of all things. He gave us the birds of the air, the breeze, the clouds, our every breath. Why so that we could live each day unhappy and dissatisfied with the one He gave us. Absolutely not, shame on us when we do this. Do we really want to waste even one day that God has given us. I am sure you do not, so go and love your spouse, support your spouse in their trials and short comings and thank the Lord every day for EVERYTHING and EVERYONE He has given you.

Know that when you get through this bump in the road, God will allow you to help another couple who are struggling in their marriage down the road. My husband and I were coming home from a wedding recently and we are not so much in love, we both for a moment wished that we grew up a little sooner so that we didn’t have all those difficult years, but we both quickly agreed that if we hadn’t had our times where we wanted to leave our marriage, we couldn’t share the miracle that God has done in our lives.

Keep looking up folks and get excited about the way in which your Loving Savior will lift your burdens and will use you to teach and encourage others. Now go and praise your Father with your mouth and with you actions!

May God Bless your marriage and your home.

To find out more about me and what I believe in and what I do, visit http://www.yakattack.myeweb.net/
Wendy
Yak’s Healthy Lifestyles
Lifestyle Coach: Expertise in fitness, nutrition, marriage, decluttering home and life

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