Politics

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Utopia is on the way!
by Dan Blankenship


With all the outrageous accusations against America’s current sitting president, allegations disseminated by left-leaning political rabble-rousers, one has to ask the question: Why set limits? Why not pull out all the stops? Complete and total destruction of another human’s character is completely within the means of this ruthless bunch.

If moveon.org, Michael Moore, and the rest of the bash the Bush crowd had a lick of sense, which they don’t, they would begin shooting the following commercial as soon as they can break away from their current anti-American activities:

Location: An immaculate living room, a roaring fireplace, with lots of family photos lined up on the mantle. Outside the living room window, the television viewer can see people waiting in long gas lines and rummaging through garbage cans for food.

Characters: A young girl, about the age of seven, seated on her grandmother’s lap.

Entry: Soft music plays as the commercial begins to appear on the screen, interrupted by the child, who begins a conversation with her grandmother.

(girl) “Gramma, tell me again, what was it like before President George W. Bush?”

(Grandma) “Oh, Sally, it was so different than today?”

(girl) “I like to hear you tell about it, Gramma!”

(Grandma) “Well, before George W. Bush, there was peace throughout the world. People of all nations lived in harmony. There was no need for weapons.”

(girl) “Really, Gramma, there were no guns before Bush?”

(Grandma) “Of course not, dear. George Bush and Halliburton invented guns right after the inauguration.”

(girl) “Wow, Gramma, all the countries used to get along?”

(Grandma) “Yes, Sally, people all over the world never had a bad word to say about each other until the Bush Administration came along. And, honey, there were no natural disasters before Bush and Cheney set foot in the
White House.”

(girl) “Really, Gramma, no tornadoes or nothing.”

(Grandma) “Not a one. In fact, it wasn’t until Bush’s second term that people figured out Vice President Cheney has special X-Men-like powers and could control the weather. He sent storms and hurricanes into the poor neighborhoods to get rid of all the people who vote for the Democrats.”

(girl) “Did Cheney use his special powers to do any other damage to the environment?”

(Grandma) “He sure did, honey. He caused all the ice in the North and South Pole to melt, and pretty soon all dry land is gonna be covered with water. It’ll be just like that movie with Kevin Costner in it.”

(girl) “Oh, Grandma, isn’t there anyway we can stop the Bush Administration?”

(Grandma) “There sure is honey. There’s one person who can bring the world back to the stable, peaceful, near utopian conditions that existed before Bush and Cheney began their reign of terror.”

(girl) “Who, Grandma, who?”

(Grandma – standing up, walking to the mantle, and retrieving a picture frame) “There is only one person that can undo the curse Bush has put upon the planet. Her name is Hillary Clinton!”
Grandma then shows a picture of Hillary Clinton to the young girl.

The commercial cuts to scene after scene of people rejoicing in the streets, money is falling from the sky, and lions are seen gently licking the faces of small children. Trees can be seen clapping, squirrels are perched upon every human shoulder, usually right next to a bluebird, and a computer graphic shows the North and South Pole ice returning to its normal, safe levels.

And just before the commercial cuts away, we hear the voice of an angel. “I promise to bring our nation, our world back to the society we knew before President George W. Bush. A society that did not know war, or terrorism, or hate, or hunger, or anything else that might make seem like a bad thing! So vote for me, and as a great leader named Pedro once said, I will make all of your wildest dreams come true!”

Commercial ends with a disclaimer.

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