Humor

---

Why is it that people love cats? And if you must love the animals, why can you not grasp a few key concepts. First they are your cats, no one else wanted them that is why they do not have their own. So keep them to yourself in your house. Do not think for one moment that your neighbors want your cat in their yard, house or on their fence tormenting their dog. Secondly, many people are allergic to cats, I don’t pretend to know why, but it seems to be true, so be courteous, and observant. Ask your guests if they are allergic, if so maybe put the cat in another room. Granted some people try to be polite and lie saying they are not “that allergic” but if you watch you will see that soon their eyes are red, puffy and watery, this is not because they are so happy to see you. They may begin to sneeze or have trouble breathing normally; you might want to take note of this and dispose I mean move the cat off the persons lap. You see as one of those people who are allergic to the animal and who is also trained as a PK to be polite; I have spent many a Sunday afternoon, and evening in such a situation. Another unexplained mystery of the cat is why a cat that “hates everyone” loves the person who hates it?

Yes you heard me right I hate cats. Not only because I am allergic, I would hate them even if I weren’t. You see I have had the misfortune to have lived with people who owned the stupid creatures. The first cat I lived with belonged to a family that I was living with for a semester. I still have yet to figure out why they chose to own a cat let alone this cat. You see they are not “cat people” They are dog people, they had a very cool chocolate brown lab named Snickers who’s name they planned on changing to Milky Way once it way neutered. The cat however was never given a name. It was so evil even they said it did not deserve a name. This cat “Devil Cat” as I fondly called it would walk along the back of the couch and then reach its paw out and scratch at your neck. Nice huh? And then it had the audacity to jump into your lap and purr and wind itself in and out of your legs until you would feed it. Why would anyone want such a creature? Let alone two such evil things? Another roommate I had owned two cats. Ugly creatures black and skinny quite creepy really. These cats pulled all the same annoying tricks, plus one, they would bring her “presents” and when she was not home to receive them guess who they chose to bless with their gifts? Yep. Me. As if cats are not awful enough to begin with, these cats would bring in living creatures, lizards, missing half a tale (hum wonder where that went?), still living now running through my house, birds, in pieces, and my favorite mice. My biggest fear in the world, rodents. I always thought that cats served at least one purpose to eat the thing I most feared, and that is why I put up with them, but not these cats. These dumb animals would bring my biggest fear to my feet in my house and let them go. Oh how I loathe cats.

---

PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR BELOW LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE