Encouragement

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Larry Lilly's Letter Monday August 29, 2005

41 years ago the Great Blonde and I set sail on the Sea Of Matrimony. It was a 4 O'clock in the afternoon, a Saturday long remembered. We were certain that God was smiling upon us, in spite of many things against us. Neither of us had any money and not much in the line of Christian raising. We had been recently saved, but were neophytes in most things truly spiritual, to say nothing of knowing the finer points of a lasting marriage.

We both had survived homes that were broken, on numerous occasions. Joyce had been left in an orphanage in a Western State until her grandmother found out about this and rescued her. Such was her life. My life was much the same except for the orphanage part, due to the fact that none would accept me! I was fortunate in that mom never thought about putting me away. I honestly think murder was often on her mind.

Forty one years ago Joyce and I were convinced that each year of our marriage would be heaven on earth with few or none of the problems that beset mere children of men. After forty one years we now say, "Well, maybe this year."

We have been learning some of the finer points of a peaceful friendship as partners in and for life. For the first few years we both were madly in love with me. No joke. I learned that the worst possible thing for me and us was the practice of making friends and associating with friends around our own age. Each of the men my age had the same ego problems as I at least that is what Joyce said. And each of the women our age had the same problems as Joyce and many were frustrated beyond belief. God spared us most of the grief that comes from these kinds of groups. In His mercy the Lord put some older Christian couples in our life as associates and friends.

A finer point that we learned to cling to early on was the practice of praying together at least once each day, and most of the time more. Children along the way produced a screaming need to pray. And to learn. I could never be a woman, and the few men who think they can and have conversion operations are more than just sick. Joyce has long been the 'mother of the block' wherever we have lived.

Another finer point is that we learned how to fight, but to fight fair. And this has helped, though when I am losing, which is about always, it is hard to even remember the word, fair. She has no such problem having been taught and believing 'all is fair in love and war.' She is good at both. Thankfully she has remained humble in spite of many sweeping victories. Her definition of 'sweeping victory' is for me to clean the house while she attends to the more noble detail of shopping. After all, anyone can clean, but she is known far and wide as the consummate shopper. She calls it 'Retail Therapy.'

Over the years we dreamed of being the first in our family to be married for fifty years. By God's grace a few more anniversaries and we will make it. By God's grace.

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years." Simone Signoret.

Larry Lilly Copyright © 2005 Use with credit.

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