Christian Living

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Chaos in the Congregation
By Patricia Backora, author of the book
Tough Love in Christ’s Millennium
Which you can order online from: http://www.publishamerica.com
I Cor. 7:23

Sometimes there is a real problem with church leadership, and the folks out in the pews have every right to be concerned about it when that particular problem directly disrupts their personal lives. Occasionally leadership misuses its position of authority to control people and get them to do what they want, even at at the cost of causing chaos in the congregation.

At one small church I attended many years ago, one of the young deacons persuaded the pastor to start a 24-hour prayer chain so troubled souls in the vicinity could phone in for prayer and counseling. In and of itself, this is a wonderful calling to fulfill in the service of Christ. But the tiny congregation had no say in the decision, they were only told the prayer chain was going to start, and which shifts were each person able to take? Prayer warriors would man the phone in one-hour shifts. People would have to get out of bed at all hours, dress, sit by the phone for an hour, then go back home in the middle of the night. Only problem was, there were only about fifty adults who faithfully attended our services, though on a good night we might get as many as 100. Many were elderly or mothers with small children. So the burden of many was laid upon just a few. But we were taught that if we really loved Jesus we would sacrifice our own comfort to save others. Who could say "no" to the prayer chain without getting the Mother of all Guilt Trips?

I agreed with the teaching that women are excluded from the five-fold office ministries of the Church, which carry a weight of headship and authority. These are: Apostle, Pastor, Evangelist, Prophet, and Teacher (Eph. 4:11). This is what that church and its affiliates taught: While a woman can share insights the Lord has given her on various things, or even move in the spiritual gifts, she does not occupy a position of authority in the Body of Christ which would permit her to pull rank on her brothers and order them to believe this or that. God’s daughters can prophesy (Acts 2:17), just like Philip’s four daughters did (Acts 21:9). But these ladies didn’t boss the brothers around. Both Aquila and his wife Priscilla expounded the Word to Paul to help him understand it more perfectly (Acts 18:26). But unlike Priscilla, Paul had the apostolic authority to lay down doctrine in the Church and enforce it, even to the extent of declaring a curse against anyone who preached a different gospel (Gal. 1:8-9). Only the Voice of the Holy Spirit clearly heard through Christians of either gender carries any weight, though. If Paul had turned his back on Christ and told the Christians to go build a brothel, the other believers would not have gotten into trouble with God if they’d disobeyed him.

A married woman is, firstly, under the authority of her husband, not the pastor or elders (I Cor. 11:3). So long as a man doesn’t tell his wife to do something sinful or harmful, she should obey him. I got the feeling that church politics were going on, the "I’ll wash your hands if you wash mine" type of thing. If the pastor agreed with the prayer chain, the two young elders would fall into line with his vision for the church in other matters. However, our church was very small, and I sensed quite a bit of desperation about getting recruits for the 24-hour prayer chain. Although women were to stay under submission for their own spiritual protection, nothing was said about it being okay for wives and mothers to opt out of the prayer chain, or that they should seek their husband’s approval first. After all, some men might have objected to their wives leaving their babies in bed and driving down rural roads in the dead of night to do their crisis phone shift.

I had a young baby and I didn’t drive. Tom had to get up with the birds to go to a physically exhausting job, so he went against the flow and got the sleep he needed. How like the enemy, to be so crafty about how he pries a congregation apart! Not through blatant sins, but through guilt-based good deeds and giving! Satan never charges into the church waving a pitchfork, he appears as an angel of light (II Cor. 11:14). Oh, no one was actually drafted to man the phone, but I believe some volunteered so they wouldn’t make waves. Looking back, I think the prayer chain created more problems than it solved. Very few in our sleepy little town called for help during the wee hours of the morning. Instead, our thinly populated phoneline ministry disrupted family life and wore out church brothers who had to rise early and go to work. They probably wondered: "What will the leadership demand of us next?"

God has delegated authority to the husband over the wife and children, and to both parents over the children. Within the home, people have the right to hear from God for themselves and to act accordingly. Our pastor declared television to be downright sinful. He said he would pray for God to chasten anyone who had one in their home. But even our most spiritually mature elder kept one stowed away in a cabinet, which he would pull out to watch with his kids when the pastor wasn’t around. A couple of others did likewise.

A TV possesses no inherent moral attributes. It is an electronic gadget which can be used either for good or for evil. There is no commandment in the Bible prohibiting TV. But if you have one, the Bible is the best TV guide of all: Philippians 4:8 exhorts us to feast our minds upon whatsoever things are true, honest, righteous, pure, lovely, of good reputation, virtuous, or praiseworthy. Romans 1:32 warns us not to take pleasure in evil deeds committed by others. That would include violence and lust portrayed on TV. Psalms 101:3 says: "I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes." If, after sifting through a load of rubbish you can find a TV program which passes muster with the Word of God, and you don’t feel it’s wrong to watch it, fine. If you want to know more about God’s creation, watch a nature program. If you want to watch for signs of Christ’s coming, and it wouldn’t depress you too much, watch the news. One good use for the TV is to use it to watch upliftiing Christian DVD’s, such as documentaries on the Holy Land or movies which present the Gospel message.

Certain ones might honestly think it’s wrong to watch TV at all. Weak souls might not be able to resist watching the wrong shows. In that case God might tell them to forego TV altogether. But when a church leader threatens the congregation with God’s retribution for owning a TV, he’s overriding the authority of the individual to make decisions about what gadgets are allowed in his or her own home. That’s venturing into dangerous waters. I’ve read about cults where the pastor tells parents how severely they must discipline their kids. Examples like this cross the thin line between proper pastoral authority and authoritarian rule. Where it concerns either allowing or disallowing something Scripture is silent on, let the peace of God rule in your heart (Col. 3:15). Happy is that one who does not feel condemned by what he allows in his own life (Romans 14:22).

When the prayer chain got going I could sense that our church, once like a close-knit family united in the Spirit, was divided into two camps now: the "inner circle" and the folks out in the pews who played follow the leader. I felt alarm bells go off when the pastor first preached on "striving to belong to the inner circle instead of being on the outside looking in." It made me long for the good old days when we were just a few happy "home folks" sitting round in a circle singing while the pastor played the guitar. Back then the church was too tiny to have warring factions. By the time the deterioration set in, the church hadn’t grown that much, but there were divisions instead of the unity of the Spirit of Christ as there had been before.

Before the two younger elders were appointed (probably to replace the one who was about to be banished), we had a very lovely man serving as elder. The Love and compassion of Christ just flowed out of him. People felt drawn to him. There wasn’t a mean bone in “Brother Wayne’s” body. He had his quirks, though. The pastor banned Christmas as being of pagan origin. But as we walked out to our car after one pre-Christmas service, I spotted a great big Christmas tree in Brother Wayne’s mobile home, easily visible through the trailer’s parted curtains. You could see it shining clear across the church lawn, as if Brother Wayne didn’t care who knew that he did his own thinking. And because Wayne didn’t always go along with every single point the pastor preached, the unspoken tension in the air between pastor and elder was so thick you could slice it. Brother Wayne was loved by most of the congregation, and this worried the pastor. A spirit of competition and jealously infiltrated the church.

The day came when Brother Wayne and his family were sent to the Caribbean to serve as missionaries as “an arm of this local assembly of the Body of Christ.” But it wasn’t long before trouble brewed in paradise. The pastor found out that Brother Wayne was fellowshipping with a minister who held some beliefs different from his own. The pastor ordered Brother Wayne to dump him, but he wouldn’t. The Lord had brought the two preachers together, and God’s will had to take priority. In retaliation, the pastor told us we were now “cutting off all fellowship and relationship with Brother Wayne.” His entire family of six, which included a newborn baby, would be cut adrift in the Caribbean without any further financial support from our church.

Tom decided the news mustn’t shock that family like a bucket of ice water thrown in their faces. So he sent them a telegram to remind them to stay in the peace of the Lord, whatever came. Later on they sent us a cassette tape to thank us for the telegram, saying the Lord had used it to prepare them for the pastor’s cruel letter of rejection.

There is a big problem when folks out in the pews are made to feel guilty for seeing there is a problem with overbearing leadership. Instead of letting problems rot under a rug, they should be brought out into the Light. The pastor told us to remember the three little monkeys: Hear no evil, See no evil, and Think no evil. You can ciriticize the pastor’s every move and have him for lunch behind his back, and that’s sinful. But the other extreme is to close your eyes to real dangers you discern in your spirit. Love believeth all things (I Cor. 13:7), but Jesus is the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life. Love bends over backwards to be gracious, but love does not lie to itself.

The Bible says to prove all things (I Thes. 5:21). As much as we might love our pastor or elders, we have the right and the duty to listen to the Voice of the Lord. In I Samuel Chapter 3 little Samuel hears the Word of the Lord concerning Eli the High Priest, a substitute father who has given Samuel a home for most of his life and taught him the Law of Moses. Eli is in deep trouble with God, and the little lad must deliver this grim news. That’s a heavy thing to lay on the shoulders of a little kid, but once Samuel is sure it really is God speaking to him, he acts on God’s orders, even at the risk of appearing disrespectful to Eli.

Often God will speak to the heart of a saint through the Gift of Discerning of spirits (I Cor. 12:10). Those whose ear is attune to the Voice of the Lord will feel a deep unease when a church begins to acquire the atmosphere of a cult, even if it happens so gradually some don’t notice the change at all. This happens when people, however subconsciously, begin to put the pastor on the Throne of Christ. It is then they feel they have no right to question any of his decrees without appearing rebellious. When Discerning of Spirits is working in the congregation, it will be apparent to certain ones that a church which was once united in the Love of Jesus has allowed a clearly defined wall to spring up between the leaders and the led. This happens whenever the devil blinds the leadership to the reality that believers are all one body in Christ Jesus. This problem doesn’t usually strike suddenly. Instead, the first telltale signs of church division are like the first wrinkles a woman gets;…fine and subtle, barely noticeable. With us it began with spiritual-sounding exhortations to get into the flow of what God is doing instead of standing on the bank of the river looking on. Young and naïve, I didn’t realize at the time that we were being conditioned to passively accept everything the pastor decided for us. Spiritual rhetoric can really be the devil’s gentle crowbar he uses to split the church into two opposing factions comprised of: 1. church leaders and their compliant friends and 2. the outer fringes of the so-called laity.

Whatever the pastor wanted we were to agree with. Dissenters were compared with the ten spies who gave a bad report to Moses after spying out the Land, mentioned in Numbers 13:32. Just out of fear of being like those doomed unbelievers, the saints kept their mouths shut about problems while in church, though they buzzed about it outside church. When certain people moved away the pastor said of them: "The rebels have been purged out."

When I started at that church, we met in the back room behind the sanctuary, which was still under construction. The pastor had worked on it with his own hands, for he was highly talented in furniture making and construction. When the lovely sanctuary was finished, it was plenty big enough for our needs. But the pastor wanted more. Other, much larger, churches had recreational facilities and dorms for visiting guests. So the congregation, who had no voice in the matter, was expected to finance a huge addition to the pastor’s property, which would resemble a Swiss chalet. Even if church brothers helped with the labor, lots of money would be needed for materials. Lots of us were having trouble putting food on the table, but careful records began to be kept of who was giving, and how much. The pastor began to talk more about opening up your checkbook instead of your heart to the Lord. What a far cry from the beginning of the church, when a few poor saints helped build God’s Spiritual House. My two best friends had only a few cents in a coin purse, but they still felt rich because of the Treasure they possessed within. True, the pastor had every right to add to the value of his property, but again, few were called upon to bear the load of many.

At the church door there was a contribution box shaped like a house. At first all offerings were anonymously given, at the end of the service, or whenever the donor chose. That’s the best way to give. That way big donors don’t get exalted above poor saints who can give only a little, and those who can’t give at all are spared reproachful stares. But checks defeated the whole purpose of the secret box, because the pastor could tell at a glance how big a tithe each check signer had paid.

Tom and I had no bank account, and there were several others who didn’t. All we could stick in the box was a dollar. Maybe two, if we were loaded. We needed our change to buy “a buck reg’lar” for our old car. Even though gas cost only 35 cents per gallon back then, life could still get expensive. One friend told us he’d sneaked a look at the accounts book and saw an entry next to our name: "no contribution". Our loving, Christ-centered church had lost its original savor (Matt. 5:13). And in only four short years! Now "giving" meant money only! When my husband was unable to paint houses during several weeks of incessant rain, he had, free of charge, drawn up the blueprints for the pastor’s dream. Just so he could build his dream in the most cost-effective way. Throughout that endlessly long rainy season, Tom used that time for the pastor’s benefit, sitting at a table building a model of the pastor’s project out of Popsicle sticks, also free of charge! No contribution, eh?

I’ll give the pastor credit, though, for sharing corn and tomatoes with us out of his garden. That helped us get through the monsoon season.

A pastor can be overbearing. But there are times he has every right to warn a straying sheep, because clear issues of right and wrong are at stake and that one is straying away from the Path of Life. One divorced woman in our congregation worked as a nurse. She met a patient who was having marital troubles. He faced a dilemma: Should he reconcile with his wife or make a fresh start with someone else? The Christian thing to do would have been to urge this man to do whatever it took to win back the heart of his wife. God hates divorce, even when it seems necessary (Mal. 2:16). But the wayward Christian nurse tried to pry him away from his wife to snag him for herself. She tried to persuade the man that it wouldn’t be right for him to stay with his wife if they were unhappy together. The pastor found out about it and rebuked this sister for her behavior, which made her resentful toward him. She even compared him to Jim Jones. But she conveniently forgot the words of Jesus in Luke 16:18: "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery."

Several sins were involved in this scenario: The nurse coveted another woman’s husband. The enemy messed with her mind to get her to listen to her human reasonings instead of the Word of God. This man understood far less of Scripture than she did, but she tempted him to break up his family and commit adultery with her, thus bringing reproach upon her own testimony. However imperfect, the pastor truly cared about this sister and did not want to see her ruin her own life. But she rebelled against the clear Word of God and said he had no right to meddle in her business.

Our church, once united in the love of Jesus, got all tied up in knots and became all untied, because the enemy had sown seeds of division in it which were allowed to grow and flourish. A season of soul-searching prayer might help clarify things for a church which begins to grow, only to find itself caught up in the "us versus them" dilemma. In the worst case scenario, there might even be a spirit of antichrist at work, warring with the Spirit of God for control of the church. It is all too easy for pastors and elders to demand blind, unquestioning obedience and forget that Christ alone is Lord.

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