Humor

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A Dozen Reasons Why God Created Woman


1. God created woman to remind man that he cannot live by bread alone. He needs milk, eggs, cheese, bacon , meat, vegetables, toilet paper, soap, deodorant and so forth.

2. God knew that if there was ever going to be peace in the world it wouldn’t be because of man. To give peace a chance He had to create woman!

3. God knew that when the baseball, basketball, hockey and football seasons arrived man would die of starvation if it weren’t for woman.

4. As “Head of the Household”, man would never really understand the meaning of balancing a checkbook and that you can’t spend more than you earned. So God created woman!

5. God quickly recognized that if humankind was to survive that woman has to step in to help man not get lost because man hates to ask for guidance and directions.

6. God knew that man needed someone to blame his stupid actions, faults and troubles on when he messed up.

7. God knew that man could never get the child care thing down right so He created woman so that humankind would have a fighting chance.

8. God created woman to remind man to change his underwear daily as well as to keep a pair in his glove compartment when he worked overtime.

9. God foreknew that man would never make an appointment to see a dentist, medical doctor, optometrist or psychologist when he needed. So woman was created to harass (prod) him to acceptable mental and physical health and check ups on a regular basis.

10. God created woman to remind man when to cut the grass, take out the garbage, vacuum the rugs, shave, pick up the kids from school, that he has three children instead of one.

11. God knew if music was ever to come about man would have to have someone to inspire him. So He created woman.

12. God knew man would never buy a new pair of pants when the rear ends wore out and would need woman to get new ones for him.


© 2005 Stephen A. Peterson

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