Women

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Some days the wind likes to play with the surface of the lake. I watch it chase delicate tufts of white cottonwood fluff across little blue ripples, bob pieces of drifting seaweed in and out of sight in a game of hide and seek, and even chop the water mercilessly until it reflects and multiplies sunlight to become millions upon millions of sparkling diamonds. The wind delights in change, in opportunity, in possibility.

God similarly creates moments of churning in my life, times when very little seems to match the status quo, times when I hardly recognize any of the familiar landmarks that have previously defined normalcy. It is when my boat starts to rock with constant motion that I know God is training me in mobility, teaching me not only to hang on, but to be flexible - to roll with the waves and trust His leadership.

When I’m in a playful mood, I traditionally like to experiment, to create new things out of the old and familiar. I thrill to the challenge of rescuing three-day-old leftover baked chicken from the remote recesses of the bottom refrigerator shelf and resurrecting it on the dinner table as a hot, steamy, garlic-fragranced tetrazinni. Really, I'm not kidding here. I continually look for ways to build and adjust family traditions from those that have been handed down to me, while melding them with what I have only observed in other families from afar as our own family grows and changes over the years.

Many times though, when the winds of life blow my way and I find myself totally at their mercy, I’m not so receptive to change. Perhaps the timing just doesn’t seem quite right. I’m not ready for something different yet. I wonder. I balk. I whine. I question the air movements – even the most gentle breeze - and plead for calmer weather. How can I be expected to handle the raw material of the unknown, or the elements of the undesirable, and mold something meaningful for myself and for my family from them? All too often the rolling white caps in my heart, like those on the water’s surface, become taunting, jeering, challenging enemies. “Keep the boat stable”, they seem to say, “it’s your job to make things work. You’re the hub of this family. Just look. The Proverbs 31 woman is peeking over your shoulder. After all, she can multi-task EVERYTHING. Try harder. Brace yourself to those winds of change. Hold steady. Smooth out the wrinkles. Don’t forget to set an example for the kids. And remember, it doesn’t matter how you feel about this, just smile. Happy, happy. happy. You must appear happy and together at all cost.”

How many times have we been there? Felt the clenched teeth? That’s pride, asking us to live up to the standard, to abide by society’s unspoken but well-known rules of success. You know, those rules for navigating the shifting waterways of family life. The rules that only magnify every time we fail to meet their expectation.

There is an option. When the winds of change blow and things gets choppy, we can accept the stirrings and rely on God’s plan and His gracious leadership. Put the resistance and tension aside. Embrace change. Is it not our greatest test of faith to simply rest in the Lord? Trust His ability to grant peace? Humility requires us to put aside our preferences and preconceived notions of success, and to abide only in His presence.

Abiding requires that we toss to and fro freely and sometimes urgently, but without fear, amidst the winds of change.

copyright 2005 Beth Muehlhausen

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