Humor

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There are many issues in the world that demand attention. Some examples include:

1. Social Security.
2. Taxation without representation.
3. The state of the Roman Catholic Church in this transition period.
4. Atomic bombs. Or whatever they're called now.

Yes, important as these are, there is another issue that far surpasses, on the interstate usually, all these others. And that topic is....

Flimsy Straws

I can remember as a kid, the straws that you got at restaurants and fast food joints were like little cylinders of power. The power was demonstrated by the act of pounding them on the table to get them open. Those straws NEVER EVER bent and cracked on the edges. Indestructible, they were.

In the last few days, I have had two straws bend and snap when I was opening them ON MY LEG! Like most people, my leg is not as hard or even flat like a table, so this should not happen. This needs to be addressed by Congress.

Think about all the potentially embarrassing situations this can cause with dignitaries...

George W. Bush: (pounds straw on the table to open it and it, of course snaps) Well, Vladammer [Putin... the Russian president], I'm glad you could meet me here in Crawford for this here summation.
Putin: Thank you, Comrade President.
GWB: (takes a drink and the liquid in his cup flies all over the Russian leader).
Putin: (Calls in a nuclear missle strike)

OK, so, maybe that wouldn't happen. But I think you get the picture.

So, with that, I am starting a foundation, which all good activists do in lieu of doing anything that could be construed as helpful. This foundation will raise awareness of flimsy straws, and will give lots of money to people like me to sit around and think about how to hold banquets where people pay 200 bucks to get a plate, and then more if they want food. This money will (obviously) help to raise awareness of flimsy straw danger.

The foundation is going to be:
Flimsy Straw Awareness Foundation for Raising Awareness of Flimsy Straws.... Foundation

Any news reporters out there, you must use the entire name of the foundation or abbreviate it FSAFRAFS....F. If not, I will have to think of ways to raise awareness of how come people don't do simple things that I ask them.

Any prospective Miss America contestants reading may feel free to take up Flimsy Straw Awareness as your platform.

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