Testimonies

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Tattered and Torn
It was over a year ago I came across a woman in apparent distress hitchhiking in the middle of the day. Janet was quite drunk and kept apologizing. Janet told me that she loved Jesus but that she was an alcoholic drug addict. Janet mourned her sister who had overdosed and another loved one who had died of liver failure. I told Janet about my church where the pastor himself had been delivered from a street life of drugs.
The next year or so would be a time of prayer, fasting, joy and tears over Janet. I would see or hear of Janet in and out of rehabs, emergency rooms, ICU and even jail.
We would have many good times though. Janet started to attend my little country church and on weekends when she had her 9 year old son Janet would bring him along too. She loved to sing praises to our Lord. There were phone calls just to read scripture to one another. Janet's Bible was very old, tattered, torn and mended with much tape, the verses heavily highlighted and was Janet's favorite possession. That Bible had been given to Janet by a woman in prison many years ago. Either personally or through her stories I came to know her family and a close friend of Janet's named Terry. Her past and present she laid out like a patched quilt.
After a period of sobriety Janet started drinking again. Thursday I went to see Janet. She had been drinking a lot before I arrived. I stayed for a while with Janet though she could barely stand and her speech was slurred. I left Janet's apartment around 11pm. After I left there Janet spoke on the phone to Terry and to her son, Thomas. Thomas and Janet said to one another "I love you". The next afternoon Terry called me. No one had seen or heard from Janet at all Friday. Janet's father and an elderly man Janet would sit with in the daytime were both very concerned. Terry was frantic. The police would not break her door down and it took a while to get a maintenance man to open the door to let Terry in. I cannot even imagine the horror and grief Terry felt at finding Janet's body. By the time I arrived on the scene the police and coroner were gone.
Grieve for her family. Do not grieve for her soul.
Though Janet was drunk Thursday she had conviction to ask Jesus to forgive her for "falling off the wagon" and she thanked God for His forgiveness. I praise and thank God that Janet is with our Lord now. I also thank God for allowing me to hear Janet speak to Him that night, that I was able to pray with and for her and that I was able to hug and say "I love you, sister dear" one last time to her.
The autopsy showed it to be a massive heart attack, not an overdose or suicide as feared. If I had been there to call 911 when she arrested it would only been delaying and subjecting her to further misery even if she could have been resuscitated. Janet is indeed delivered from her anguish, addictions and loneliness.
Terry loved Janet greatly. He and I had spoken a few time previously. Terry had said that he knows "I need church or something" but when I would try to talk about Jesus Terry would change the subject. O praise God, praise God! Friday night Terry and I got down on our knees and Terry asked Jesus into his heart, life and for forgiveness. Terry came to Jesus a few feet from where Janet was carried home to Jesus.
I had told Janet her testimony would touch many. She only laughed. We all selfishly long that the story would have gone differently.
I have before me an old, tattered, torn and mended Bible, the tear stained pages easily opened to a heavily highlighted Psalm 142:
[A Prayer of David when he was in the cave.] 1 I cried unto the LORD with my voice; with my voice unto the LORD did I make my supplication. 2 I poured out my complaint before Him; I showed before Him my trouble. 3 When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then Thou knew my path.... 7 Bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise Thy name: the righteous shall compass me about; for Thou shall deal bountifully with me.
Amen.
December 31, 2001

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