Humor

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You’re From Oklahoma If…

You know that you’re an Okie (from Oklahoma) if…

1. You know what an “Agg” is.
2. You know in which state Boise (pronounced “Boys”) is in and in which state Boise (pronounced “Boy-zee”) is in.
3. You agree that Ranch dressing goes better with everything than catsup.
4. You aren’t surprised to find hot prepared pizza, bait, ammunition, panty hoses, tires and more all in the same store.
5. You can correctly pronounce: Checotah, Battiest, Eufaula, Quachita, and Gotebo.
6. You prefer a “Dodge Ram” as a status symbol over a “Mercedes Benz”.
7. You prefer “Reba MacEntire” over “Fiddy Cents”.
8. You learned how to shoot a gun or rifle before you learned how to read.
9. You know that the Sabbath days fall on Friday night (high school football); Saturday afternoon (OU football); and Sunday afternoon (Pro football).
10. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as “Da City” or “Da Big Town”.
11. You consider a well dress man as wearing boots, ironed jeans, plaid shirt, bolo tie, and a cowboy hat.
12. You consider a well dressed woman as wearing boots, ironed jeans, neatly pressed blouse and a cowboy hat.
13. You measure distance in minutes expended.
14. You react to tornado warning by going out to look for a funnel.
15. You consider a gourmet meal being catfish, coleslaw, biscuits and a bottle of cold beer.
16. You salivate when someone talks about lamb fries.
17. You believe water is only for bathing and beer is for drinking and cooking.
18. You believe belching is not an insult but a statement that the meal was great or really good!
19. You are about to do something you say “I’m fixin’ to do something.
20. A Hole down is in reference to a “pothole”.
21. You or someone you know plans important life events around a football schedule.
22. Your country home has wheels under it and is “the” house.
23. You can’t understand a person’s accent from a New England state or from a city believing them to be from a foreign land or nation.
24. You think it is a serious traffic jam if it involves 5 cars on a two land highway trying to pass an elderly driver or farm tractor.
25. You believe local means any distance of 100 miles or less.
26. You believe a nice day is a temperature between 60 and 100 degrees Fahrenheit.
27. You watch or listen to the weather in the morning before selecting the clothes you will wear for the day.

© Stephen A. Peterson, 2005

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