Short Stories

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An Alien in the Backyard


Harumph! Harumph!

Minnie looked up from her cross-stitching. She pulled her bifocals up from the tip of her nose. She heard a low rumble. She thought it might be thunder and peered out the front window. Only the night stars winked back at her. I must be dreaming, she thought. Then again came the low grumbling. “I know I heard that noise,” she said. Minnie decided to investigate.

She limped on her cane to the back window overlooking the sink. She opened the curtain and screamed! A big, black, ugly face with huge red eyes, flowery eyelashes and large yellow teeth stared back at her. “Dear Lord, please help me, it’s an alien,” she whispered to herself in fright. The teeth suddenly opened into a bright pink mouth. “It’s going to eat me! Dear Lord in Heaven, save me!”

Stumbling away from the window in panic, Minnie grabbed the phone. 911—that’s all her poor, ancient mind could remember. She dialed frantically. “Help me, officer! There’s an alien in my backyard. Come quickly!” She gave her address and hung up. Minutes past. There was more snorting. Minnie was too afraid to approach the window. Bang! Crash! The alien was trying to get into her house. Minnie said a hasty, but heartfelt prayer for deliverance. The red and blue flashing lights of a police car came blessedly through her front window. She hurried to the front door and opened it a pinch.

“Officer, the alien is trying to get into my house. He’s in the backyard.” She spoke to the uniformed cop and shut the door. She waited breathlessly with wonder, thankful for the protection of the policeman. Moments past, then--suddenly she heard a loud knock on the front door. She opened it. There stood a dumbfounded cop, trying to form words with a taut mouth.

“Um, um, lady, that’s no alien. That there is a regular hippopotamus. What’ca doing with a hippo in your backyard?”

She marveled at his stupidity. “Young man, what would I be doing with a hippo in my backyard? Go find that alien.”

“The hippo IS the alien. There’s a full size hippo in your backyard. It must’a escaped from the zoo. I’ll call dispatch. Stay out of the backyard.” He left for his car.

Minnie, disobeying the officer, went to the back door and opened it. Totally awed at the preposterous sight, she gazed in wonder at the huge dark hippo standing in the midst of her prized red geraniums. The pure animal smell drowned out the scent of the flowers. She crinkled her nose. Will wonders never cease? She thought. “Jesus,” she said laughing aloud now that her fear had passed, “you constantly amaze me. Just when I think you won’t surprise me anymore, you do this. Just for fun, too. You never let life get too boring, do ya? .

“No,” Jesus smiled down on her from heaven. “I never do.”

Based on a true story.

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