Humor

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The Day The Scientists Stood In Awe Of God
© 2005
by

Stephen A. Peterson


In their search for knowledge and greatness, 12 scientists sat in a laboratory at a famous mideastern university. The group was made up of two psychologists, two biologists two philosophers, a historian, a journalist, a physicist, a mathematician, a chemist and a bioethicist. Following a discussion lasting roughly six hours, the scientists agreed to select two from their group to go to tell God that He was no longer relevant or needed in the modern world. Without further discussion, the journalist, Michael Kinsley, and the bioethicist Sir Julian Huxley, were selected to talk to God.

Kinsley and Huxley found God in the school’s chapel. “God,” shouted Kinsley. “I want to speak with You! I want to speak to You right now! I mean right now!”

“You bet! Sure! What's on your mind, my child.” responded God.

“God, a panel of the most intelligent and wise men and women met. We decided that You are no longer relevant, needed or functional in the modern world today. We’ve been able to do anything You can do. It is our belief that soon we’ll be able to create living things of all sorts and improve upon what those Right Wing Christian fundamentalist fools say You do—that is, create,” Michael Kinsley stated boldly.

Listening attentively and with complete understanding, God responded, “Ah-hum! Very well, then! But before you two return to your colleagues and friends, how ‘bout a little contest? Are you two up to it?”

Kinsley thought about it but Sir Huxley spoke up, “You bet! Sure, why not! But understand this God, there is no truth. Everything is relative.”

God said nothing but simply smiled.

“What sort of contest?” asked Kinsley.

“A human making contest,” responded God.

“Alright! You’re on!” said Sir Huxley as he bent down to pick up a hand full of earth. “I’m ready!”

As Sir Huxley stood upright with the earth, a beautiful woman appeared out of nowhere right in front of Kinsley’s and Sir Huxley’s eyes. She was the most beautiful woman the two men have ever seen. As the two approached to interact with the woman, God said: “Do not touch or talk to the woman and put down My earth! You wise, intelligent scientists have to get your own earth and make your own woman out of nothing! Just the way I did! So, ah, when are you two going to create what with what? Hummmm!!!"

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